copyright 2017 Chris Smith All rights reserved.
"If you had to do it all over again, would you keep every scar?"
We had all gotten sick and it was the worst thing because it didn't change or lessen the burden of taking care of Mom. There was no "taking it easy" in this household. Except maybe for Mom, sitting on the bed directing Dad and I. We were on call 24/7. Dad took night shifts and I took day shifts. There was no one else helping us at home.
The shifts never end. Ever. There weren't weekends off, call it quits at 5 p.m., two weeks paid vacation, or holidays off. It was around the clock all day and all night long.
"What are you doing up?" Dad asked.
I walked into the bathroom and sat on the ledge of the bathroom tub.
"I don't think I can do this anymore," I said.
"We are doing it. It's not a question. We are doing it," Dad said.
"Jesus," I said.
Then the tears came like they always did nowadays. The tears of hopeless. The tears of exhaustion. The tears leaking from my soul. The tears when there was nowhere left to run and nothing left to do but stand still as the pain washed over me, every minute of every day. The ones where you don't think you can find the energy to go on in the darkness and the endless fight of it all. But you do. You do. You do go on even though all you want to do is stop and lie down.
I was tired of being tired. I was tired of so many things about my life. I was tired of existing.
I cried my soul out. Then I got on with living.
Some mornings I'd sit down on the bed with Mom and talk with her as Dad worked on juicing.
"Mom?" I asked.
She'd look at me, during her "Don't Bother Me I'm Trying To Rest" or the "Begone Fifthly-No-Good-Peasant From My Sight". If I was lucky she'd open her eyes.
"Mom? Guess what?" I asked.
I was met with the death ray eye stare down.
Mom's thinking, "Should We Go To Guns? Wait One."
But I held my cool and continued with the script.
"Guess what Dad's doing?"
"Dad's in the kitchen making Juicy Juice!"
The first time I started calling it "Juicy Juice" Dad looked at me like I had sniffed glue in front of him while wearing a clown costume. I don't why he wasn't hip to my ideas. He knew from my history with our animals what an amazing talent I was with ideas. From doing wheel barrel with their dog Grizzie to the "Special-Special-Boy" with our kitty Pooky. I was a daughter who had fun and got things done at the same time.
Clearly my ideas got traction and worked. I mean, Mom was no push-over. She was a genius, literally. Her mind was that incredible. But she was also open which helped immensely.
I worked the idea of being excited about Juicy Juice into her. We needed her to believe in it. It was vital to her healing. So Juicy Juice became an awesome treat. We all scream for Juicy Juice! Sure enough Mom caught on. Dad was always flabbergasted that my hokey ideas caught on with Mom.
"Really?" Mom asked her eyes all excited.
"Isn't that exciting?!" I said.
"Yeah, it is," Mom replied with a big smile on her face.
Then I went into the kitchen and gave Dad the classic look, "Come on. You can go ahead and tell me now what an awesome daughter you have. Go on."
He looked at me and shook his head like, "Okay. Okay. You are."
That's right buddy! Juicy Juice is where it's happening at our house! Score!
After juicy juice was finished we got Mom dressed and piled into the car for our appointment at the Doc's. It was three sickies in the car, going to town for a good time.
I had gotten another eye infection. I'm sure the stress of the situation wasn't helping at all. It was all red and draining. Eye infections were beyond uncomfortable since the eyes are so sensitive. It was like having the irritation of sand in your eye and then add the inflammation, tearing, and a pissed off eyeball. I muscle tested for a viral infection in my spleen meridian. But no emotions came up, which was surprising.
Dad muscle tested for a bacterial infection in his sinuses. His spleen meridian was testing at an 8 (normal in balance was 10). And emotionally, his spleen was testing for frustration with Mom.
We were fighting her to want to live and to want to heal. She was fighting us because we wanted her to want to live and to want to heal.
So, the Doc had Dad hold one hand over his spleen and one hand one his forehead while he energetically cleared him of the emotion.
"Think of Frustration and your wife," the Doc said.
Dad stood there holding his head and his spleen while breathing deeply in and out as the Doc moved this large rubber roller over Dad's spine.
"Think of it," the Doc said.
It took a few minutes at most. Then the Doc muscle tested Dad again for frustration, and Dad tested as clear on emotions, which was important.
The body was broken down by meridians. Each meridian had an organ, and group of corresponding muscles. It also had emotions associated with each meridian. A meridian was like a system of energy that moved through the body. So you could have issues with a meridian, like the kidney meridian, due to structural, chemical, or mental.
It was a big reason why we came to the Doc for monthly visits, a chiropractor trained in Applied Kinesiology, for our well-being and healing and not an M.D. M.D.s were good for certain things. But they couldn't help balance the body structurally, chemically, and mentally. They simply didn't deal on all those levels like the Doc did. And honestly, most of them didn't even believe those other levels mattered or existed.
After a decade on the Doc's program of healing, along with other avenues I had pursued in my own healing, not only did I believe in those other levels, I knew they were critical for overall well-being and balance.
I was always asking the Doc questions about Mom, "How else can we help her heal? Should we do the mud? Does she need castor oil packs? How can we tell if anything we're doing is going after the cancer? What else?"
The Doc took me aside and wrote on my notebook, "CA. liver, G.B. ST Spleen."
I looked down at the note and then it hit me. I swayed back on my heels. He'd muscle tested Mom and found the following, "cancer in the liver, gallbladder, stomach, and spleen."
Well, there it was. There was the truth right there on paper. There was the battle we were fighting. There's where Death had set up camp in my Mom. But that's not where the war was though. The real war, was inside Mom's psyche. Change the psyche and you can change everything. Change the psyche and you can win the war because you have to deal with where the cancer started. Sure it showed up in her body. But that's not where it started. It started in her mind.
Juice Day 62
2 collard greens leaves
2 ½ apples
7 red russian kale leaves
1 tablespoon ginger root
3 red leaf lettuce leaves
YOU ARE READING
A HARD RUN INTO HELL Book 4 (EDITING) is the juice worth the squeeze seriesNon-Fiction
I was standing in Hell, burning. I looked over to see my Dad, standing right next to me. He was burning too. We had brought my Mom home from the hospital and care facility, after being diagnosed with Stage 3 cancer and decided not to do chemo, ag...