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Pen Your Pride

Chapter 25

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I collapsed on the bed. My phone dinged, and I saw I had an alert.

'Patriot's Rob Gronkowski long anticipated return: Patriots Nation in a frenzy.'

Nope. Not happening. I'm not looking at anything to do with him. I'll start to feel too guilty, I decided. And there was another knock on my door.

"What?" I shouted. Henry came in.

"Are you ok?" he asked. I shook my head.

"Is Zack still here?" I questioned. He nodded. "Can you get him for me?"

Henry went and grabbed Zack, and was about to leave, when I said,

"No! Stay."

"So, change your mind?" he asked, smirking.

"No. I want you to listen up. I never want to see you again after today. You hear? I don't want you within thirty yards of me," I snarled.

"Like a restraining order?" he asked sarcastically.

"Yes. But if I have to, I will go to the cops and get them involved. Got it?" I awaited a reply. "Furthermore, I want you to pretend I never existed."

"That'd be like having my world ripped away!" he shouted. "You have no idea what that feels like!"

"Don't I?" I argued. "At eighteen, I had to be at my little sister's funeral! And I had to watch my parents be buried with her! Then I made the stupidest mistake of all by coming here, and then when I want to go back to my boyfriend and my life, I meet some kid who completely changed my life! Therefore, I can't go back, deeming the mistake even stupider!" I yelled. "Then flash forward. I'm happy and adjusting to my new life, without you. Then in his first game back, the person I love gets amnesia and doesn't remember who I am! Then to top it off, my best friend has cancer and is about to die!" I screamed.

"What happened to 'I'm not mad at you'?" Zack muttered. I ignored him.

"Contrary to what you may think, it hasn't been a fucking walk in the park! I have to deal with the media and crap and jealous fans and I hate it!" I screamed. "My life isn't perfect, Zack, but I didn't need you to come and screw it up!"

"C'mon Zack," Henry ushered quietly.

"Fine!" Zack snapped. "Goodbye, Alex."

His tone was icy and cold. At least I got my message across. I sat on the bed and started crying into my pillow.

"Hey Alex," Henry said.

"Hi," I sniffled.

"What happened? Why were you mad at him?" Henry asked, patting my back.

"Well we had this argument basically when he first came in here but then he left and I went to take a shower and then got out and he was here and he kissed me and I let him for about five seconds until I realized he wasn't Rob and I slapped him and now I feel like a horrible person because I let him kiss me even though I have no feelings for him whatsoever and...and...." My voice just kinda trailed off.

"It's ok, Alex. You wanna eat?"

I shook my head.

"I'll explore. Any rooms I'm not supposed to go in?" I asked, sniffling. He shook his head.

"Go wherever you like. If you want, town's only about a mile walk," Henry said. I smiled.

"Thanks Haz," I said. "I'm glad you two met. By the way, do you guys get American channels?"

"Yeah," he said, nodding. "What do you want?"

"Fox and CBS," I said. He nodded.

"676 and 679," Henry said before leaving.

I decided not to explore, and I laid down on the bed. I put my fuzzy blanket over me and clung to my teddy bear for dear life.

I wonder if the Patriots game is on, I thought. I put on 676. On was NFL pregame stuff.

"Rob," the reporter was saying, "you have everything going for you. You have a great NFL career, you're a good looking young guy, single-"

"No," Rob cut him off. "I'm not a bachelor."

"Sorry to break some hearts out there. So who's the lucky lady? Didn't you and Ms. Stone break up?" the reporter asked.

"Her name is Alex. And no, we didn't break up," he said.

"Then where is she? We usually see her before game time," the reporter pointed out.

"She's visiting family. Oh, speaking of Alex, I need to call her."

He took out his phone and trotted off. My phone started ringing seconds later.

I can't answer it, I told myself. I declined his call.

The camera zoomed on Rob who ran a hand through his tousled dirty blond hair. He looked puzzled and put his phone away. I shut off the TV and curled up under my blanket, clinging on to the letter he wrote me for dear life. I shut my eyes and drifted off into nightmares.

*dream*
"I hate you!" Katie yelled.

"You'll never amount to anything," my mother said.

"You're a disappointment," my father icily told me.

"Who would love you?" Rob scoffed. "I never did."

He icily glared at me with hard brown eyes.

"No!" I tried to sob, but no words came out. "But I love you!" No words.

"Wouldn't you rather me be him?" he hissed, and pointed to Zayn.

"NO!" I tried to yell. "NO!"

"I hate you Alex. You mean nothing to me. I have plenty of girls that love me. I was with six alone when you were away for two long months," he sneered. Not it was just he and I, and my vision was getting blurry.

"But I didn't mean it Rob," I tried to whisper, but nothing came out.

*end of dream*

I woke up shaking and sweating.
Damn I wish he were here.

"I love you Rob," I whispered to him, even though he was on the other side of the world and couldn't hear me.

I wasn't thirsty, and I certainly wasn't hungry. I laid in bed and eventually fell asleep again, pondering my nightmare.

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