Dearest First Love

Chapter 12

12 NEW CHANCES

Second sem na...It has been a month since I last saw Ken. Umalis siya – hindi na nagpakita sa akin. I asked the department and ang sabi nila na he is still teaching pero sa first years na daw. I asked for his schedule and they gave it to me.

Hectic ang sched niya kasi may mga extra-curricular tasks siya. [Hindi man lang nagtext] naisip ko. Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako. [Atleast hindi totoo na nagresign siya...]

Troy is trying his best na mabalik 'yung friendship namin and I'm fine with it. Minsan dinala niya ako sa isang roadtrip na kami lang dalawa. He sends me chocolates every time. Hindi ko alam pero parang his effort is too much para lang maging okay kami. Eh okay naman talaga kami in the first place eh. Wala namang nagbago kahit na naging aloof siya...pero siguro he felt guilty about it.

Habang naglalakad ako patungo sa canteen, nakita ko sina Troy at Ken na nag-uusap. Seryoso. Hindi na lang ako lumapit...pero habang papalyo ako eh tumitindi ang kagustuhan kong malaman kung ano ang pinag-uusapan nila. (Lumapit ako nang patago)

"Take care of her Troy. Don't ever hurt her kasi pinagsisihan ko na iniwan siya noon so don't ever let her cry. I won't stop you...kasi baka iyan ang ikakasaya niya and I hope she'll be happy with you..." narinig kong sabay ni Ken kay Troy habang tinatapik ang balikat niya.

Ano ba pinagsasabi ni Ken? What is this? Bakit nakakaramdam ako ng sakit. Nahihirapan akong huminga and before I knew it tumulo na luha ko. Is he leaving again? Why is he doing this? Hindi ko siya maintindihan...

Deep inside alam ko at naiintindihan ko ang mga katagang iyon. I don't want to assume pero feeling ko gusto na rin ako ni Troy...Paano si Julia? What happened to them? Naghiwalay ba sila? Ano na gagawin ko?

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"Ms. Mendoza, pinapatawag ka ng Dean. May pag-uusapan daw kayo..." sabi ni Ms. Castro...siya pa rin teacher namin sa isang major course.

"Ngayon na po ba Miss?"

"Yes Mari...dalian mo...it's an urgent matter."

Bawal tumakbo sa hallway pero I tried my best to be really fast. Kinakabahan ako sa urgent...Ano kaya kailangan ng Dean sa akin? Wala naman akong maalalang ginawang kasalanan....What is this all of a sudden?

"Please take a sit Ms. Mendoza... you have some explaining to do."

"Sir Dean, may nagawa po ba akong mali? What did I do po?" tanong ko sa kanya...obvious sa boses ko ang kaba.

Inilahad ni Dean ang mga pictures sa table.

"Are you familiar with these? Can you explain this to me?" sabi niya at tinitigan ako.

SHOCKED!

"Paanong? Who did this? What is this all about?" nasabi ko habang tinitingnan ang mga larawan naming ni Ken. Sa starbucks...that day na pumunta ako para makausap si Troy. The picture was perfectly angled na parang nagkiss sa akin si Ken.

"Those are edited Sir Dean...hindi po nangyari kung ano man ang ipinapakita ng pictures na iyan..."

"We've informed Ken about this and he offered resignation kesa ma-expel ka sa klase. But we don't want that to happen Ms. Mendoza. Magaling na faculty si Mr. Carlos...we don't want to lose him here..."

Bigla akong nakaramdam ng lungkot. He resigned for my sake? Bakit? Eh hindi naman totoo ang sinasabi ng pictures...

"Sa totoo lang po...I was there to study when I heard some friends talk behind my back. Tapos po si Sir Ken nang mapansin niyang umiyak ako eh lumapit siya to wipe my tears...kaya po ganyan 'yung position niya sa pictures. What you see isn't what it seems. Hindi kop o alam kung bakit nagresign si Sir Ken...eh wala naman po kaming ginagawang masama..."

"I'd really love to believe you Mari pero according to my sources...you had a relationship with Ken and he was always teasing you sa klase..."

"I admit po. Yes he WAS my boyfriend..but that was years ago Sir. Hindi na po kami ngayon and we're trying to be civil with each other..."

"Binibiro lang kita Ms. Mendoza...Someone left those pictures in my office and I laughed about it kasi hindi naman dineny ni Ken ang tungkol sa inyong dalawa. Even when you were still his student.Ang nakakatawa lang eh bakit sa akin pinadala? Eh wala naman kaming kinalaman diyan..." the Dean said doing his best not to laugh.

RELIEVED! Hay Salamat! Biro lang pala!

"Ahah...hehehe..ganoon po ba Sir? Ahh...iyon lang po ba Sir?" tanong ko sa kanya na nahihiya. Hindi naman po kasi close ni Sir Dean eh...Hay naku talaga!

"Ah, No Ms. Mendoza...I actually called you for another reason." he said shifting to a serious face.

"Next month, the university will be celebrating its 100th year. And the program requires a representative for each department. Will it be okay for you to represent us? I don't have anyone else in mind and I'd appreciate it if you agree. I promise to support you in any way...sa clothes and all that. Bibigyan ka ng allowance ng department."

Wew! Grabe si Sir Dean! Dretso man lahat ng sinabi. Pero hindi pa maprocess ng utak ko ang sinabi ni Sir.

"Wait...ano po ba ang gagawin ng Rep, Sir Dean? Hindi ko po kasi alam..." sagot ko na nalilito pa rin.

"Don't worry...someone will guide you."

"Ahh Sige po Sir...No problem."

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Dean's secretary texted me to be at the conference room at 4pm. I have to be there daw on time. So pagkasabi ng teacher naming ng "Goodbye and Thank You Class" nagmadali akong umalis at tumakbo.

Pagkarating ko...nahihingal ako mula sa pagtakbo...

Nang makita ko kung sino ang nasa loob ng hall bigla akong kinabahan.

Lumakas ang kabog ng dibdib ko sumasabay sa paghingal. I can't breath...I need some water.

"Mari? Okay ka lang? Here's some water...maupo ka muna..." sabi niya at pinaypayan ako using the papers he was holding awhile ago.

"You need not run...I can wait naman. Alam kong may klase ka until 4." sabi niya na nag-aalala

"The secretary texted me not to be late kasi...malay ko bang hindi ang Dean ang imemeet ko ngayon..."

"Hindi pa ba nasasabi sa'yo na ako ang magte-train sa'yo for the event?"

Tinitigan ko lang siya....Kumakabog ang dibdib ko...{I miss him sobra!} Aish! Ano ba? I don't want this...

"So can we start Ms. Mendoza?" sabi niya with that formal tone.

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Seryoso? He was so serious...I don't even know that he had this side...sa class namin last sem was still the same Ken I knew but now...he was too different.

"That's it for today..Thankyou Ms. Mendoza..See you on Friday." sabi niya casually and before he couldleave I grabbed his arm...tinitigan ko siya and I know there was sadness in myeyes.pDb

Love isn't about giving up...it is about holding on until you know there's nothing to hold on to. Give and take chances..love!