Snuggled in bed beneath the cozy weight of a several soft blankets, I can't sleep. There's a heaviness weighing down on my chest that has nothing to do with 800 thread count sheets or satin-rimmed covers. I can't breathe. My lungs feel constricted. Surely the physical exertion from Operation Spider Relocation shouldn't still have an effect on me, but apparently it does. How absolutely frickin' pathetic. When did I get so out of shape?
It's not like the answer to that question is some mystery or anything, my internal voice mocks. Your physical downgrade went into effect when you replaced Sunday dinners with Sundae dinners. It was compounded even further when you started unboxing sweets instead of going to the gym and boxing up sweats. Get real with yourself and maybe you'll be able to sleep at night.
Fair enough. But it still doesn't explain why my breathing is more labored now than earlier in the day. Worry? Stress? Gas? Who knows. Maybe a good night's rest will make it all better in the morning.
In an attempt to force myself into a state of snooze-a-liciousness, I conjure up images of the most mind-numbing experiences I can think of. Yes—my goal is to bore myself into a sleepy coma. Counting 1D stories on Wattpad just isn't working tonight.
For reasons unknown, a memory from several years prior pops up in my mind as a prime candidate for the bored'acious experience needed to help me slip into a dreamland state. It's a memory of my ex-husband—the Ex-Bot—and I sitting in one of a many marriage counseling sessions. What a pointless waste of time marriage counseling was. Even now as I think about it, my mind starts to drift off.
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NURSE McSEXY (2016 Wattys Winner)Humor
**2016 WATTYS WINNER FOR VISUAL STORYTELLING** Letting her appearance fall to the wayside and desperate to find a reason for her life, Marilyn sits half naked in an Urgent Care examination room with a mysterious skin itch. If she can survive the hum...