lover boy; [yoonseok]

12;

Working was as it had always been. The days were hot and dry, and the air inside the shop was musty. With every inhale Yoongi felt as if he was choking on pounds of dust at a time, his nose snuffling as he swept the wooden floors. Jimin sat perched behind the register, eyes scanning across some boring magazine, his eyes occassionally flitting over to where Yoongi busied himself with chores. Ms. Park would occasionally poke her head around the corner from where she sat placing orders, only to yell at her own son for making Yoongi do all the work. The day was slow, as it always was, but Yoongi felt as if the air was heavier because of the

Jimin set the glossy magazine down, propping his chin up on his hand and staring across the store at Yoongi. The older boy shifted as he felt the gaze watch his every move, causing him to turn around in discomfort of being watched.

"What's up with you and that one weird kid from, like, the top of the hill?" Jimin drawled, a small and all-knowing smirk decorating his face. "You always take the deliveries without complaint, you're more smiley which is fucking weird, and you skipped work for the first time ever."

Yoongi felt a shiver go down his spine, biting his lip anxiously as he tightly gripped the wooden broom in his hands. He could feel his hands burn at the tight grasp, the old wood itching his palms as his knuckles turned white. What are you supposed to say when you're cornered like that? It was obvious Jimin knew everything, he was pretty smart even if he tried to hide it behind dumb jokes and goofy grins.

"Yeah." There was no point in lying, "He's my boyfriend. His name is Hoseok."

The boy at the register nodded in acceptance and the shop went uncomfortably silent for a few minutes, the only sound being the bristles of the broom brushing against the grimy floors and the occasional turn of the magazine pages. When Yoongi turned to prop the broom against the wall, Jimin cleared his throat to speak once more. The older boy turned to glance at him, quirking his eyebrow as he waited for him to speak. Nervously, he twiddled with his fingers as he glanced from the laminated pages to his friend. Jimin had always been one to speak without having to heavily think about his words, so the unusually long silence that passed between them made Yoongi's stomach churn.

"You're gay, right Yoongi?"

The question was simple, yet it left Yoongi speechless. He had never actually thought about it in such a way, labels were never of his concern. He shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck with his palm and walking over to stand closer to the younger boy.

"I don't know much about the different, like, types of sexuality? Y'know? So I don't really label it. I just find people attractive. I was never really bothered by it." Jimin nodded, his teeth playing with his bottom lip. He seemed to take in the words with great thought, tapping his fingers on the counter as the invisible gears in his head strung together the next thing he wished to say. Yoongi waited patiently, watching the boy beside him with calm eyes. With a sigh, Jimin laid his head down to press his forehead against the cool metal of the checkout. He mumbled something quiet, Yoongi prodding his shoulder and asking him to repeat it.

"It's just- I, fuck..." Jimin stumbled over his words, sitting up straight and staring ahead blankly. His eyebrows furrowed and his eyes looked as if they were ready to flood over with tears. His voice cracked as he spoke, his internal battle on how to speak his mind properly obvious. "I like a boy, but I don't know what to do. I've never actually... accepted my feelings for another dude before."

Yoongi's eyes went wide, the look on his face almost comical as he processed what was happening. He kissed his teeth, thoughts spiraling around his head at what he could do to alleviate Jimin's worry.

He knew there was nothing he could do. Being gay was hard, to be put simply. Not only was the outside world harsh, but the constant battling with internalized homophobia was terrifying. It was something that left you with scars, whether physical or mental. It was something that he knew Jimin was not prepared for, but was going to have to fight with.

"I mean- I really like him!" Jimin whispered sharply, panicked eyes making sure his mother wasn't in the room as he opened up about it. "He's so smart and he's tall and he has a great sense of humor? Yoongi, I can't even deal with it anymore because I want to hold his hand but also suck his dick?" Jimin groaned, running his small hands through his hair.

"But you know my mom! She's garbage about this shit. She hates, like, literally every gay person. I don't even fucking know why!" Yoongi nodded, Ms. Park had always been one to speak loudly about things she wasn't educated on. She would scream from the rooftops about how 'gay is a sickness'  if she could. The thought of Jimin having to live with her made him queasy.

"Jimin, you know there's nothing you can do about those feelings but find a way to deal with them yourself. It is a really shitty situation, but if your mom is your mom and she loves you, she should put all of her bigotry beside for you. I mean, it's not for sure she will, but that's the most positive outcome." Yoongi frowned, rubbing the smaller boy's back as he shoved the heels of his palms into his eyes to stop himself from crying.

"I know..." He sniffed, wiping the snot off of his face with his shirt sleeve, making Yoongi cringe. "I just want her to accept me, because I don't... like girls. At all. And I really like this boy."

"I bet. If he breaks your heart I'll break his shins." The older boy mumbled, making Jimin laugh softly. "I'm sorry Jimbo, but there's nothing you can do but hope for the best and follow your gut. I really don't know how to help you." He nodded along to Yoongi's words, knowing wholeheartedly it was the truth.

Managing to calm himself down, Jimin shooed Yoongi away from the register, going back to paging through his magazine. His head was spinning with possible outcomes for the situation he was in, would he and his crush ever be able to marry? or will my mom ever love me the same way again? It was a dangerous spiral of thought to fall into. As if too try and distract him, occasionally Yoongi would perk up and ask a question about the boy Jimin seemed to have taken a liking too, mentally deeming him as a 'good catch'.

At the end of the day, the store was clean and stocked, and Jimin seemed to have relaxed and read every magazine and comic book in existence. As Yoongi fumbled about in the back room, gathering his things together, he felt a pair of arms wrap around him from behind. The act affection caught him off guard, but soft hands on his abdomen belonged to no one else but the boy he was comforting but a few hours before.

"Thanks, by the way, for letting me yell about my problems to you... It really means a lot to me." The boy had mumbled into his shoulder blades, genuine thankfulness radiating off of him in waves.

"You're welcome, Jimin."

-

who is jimin's crush? hmmmmmmm ;-)