I Socialize Naked

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I socialize naked. 

In removing my clothes in front of others, and gentle reader I mean every stitch… I am not trying to make a statement!

I seriously doubt our planet is breathing its last, but if it is, my intentional nudity will not shock it back to life.  The manatees and polar bears will not benefit.  Corporate giants will not cry, “Oh my god, she’s naked!” and convert to charitable non-profits.  Citizens who see me nude will not rush out to buy a Volt!

I am no Goddess.  My premeditated nudity does not lend expression to “the feminist mystique.”  By being nude among others, I make no effort to equalize women, men, rich, or poor… something that’s never going to happen.  Wait, it gets worse!   I do not even disrobe for that most holy of holies, diversity!

I socialize naked because it is as natural and getting a cold beer from the frig.  I do it because social nudity enhances each moment with excruciating delight.  I do it because it is fun, fun, fun!  (Well, that and to bring you the inside scoop on naturist culture, of course!) 

I do not know when nudists first felt the need to justify nudity in terms of its social value, but it’s been going on for a while.  I used quicker, cleaner Bing to search nudist resort ads dating back to the 60s.  These ads touted the political, social, even spiritual affectation of nudism, all the while carefully avoiding the appearance of merriment, much less (gasp) sexuality!  Even today, most resorts officially deny any connection between nudism and sexuality, regardless of what goes on behind their closed doors.    

One would think that after centuries of survival, nudism could proudly stand on its own and proclaim that we do not need a corollary movement.  But modern nudists, rather than enjoying our historical seniority, now politicize - and therefore justify - nudism in to unprecedented levels:  Nudism to promote environmentalism, to protest the latest war, to highlight Wall Street’s ills…

Most recently going braless earned its own day during Breast Cancer Awareness month.  The idea was to “save the ta-tas” from chemical pollutants in lingerie!  I’m not kidding.  When I pointed out to one no-bra-day-enthusiast that studies show wearers have lower incidents of breast cancer, I might as well have pooped the pool on the 4th of July!  But facts is facts!  Bras actually serve and protect.  The lingerie industry is not trying to kill its customers. 

Do not get me wrong.  I love exposing second base!  But I am also on a first name basis with the clerk at Victoria’s Secret… and Frederick’s! 

Another counter-culture construct claiming spear-head status with us nudies is the resurgence of 70s-style anti-male sentiment among feminist naturists.  It is bewildering.  I suspect female nudists steeped in anti-male sentiment are also the ones who NEVER consort with the enemy.  At any rate, if you want to counter-offend men, stripping in front of them may not be your best bet.  The guys don’t seem to mind at all.  Call me crazy, but I think they actually like it!   

And so do I.  I enjoy the guys.  I enjoy getting naked in front of them.  I do not mind when they look at me in the nude.  In many cases, I enjoy looking at them.           

Recently, my naturist Facebook-friends peppered the news feed with links to a feminist spoof of Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines ”.  Comments promising high hilarity, turned out to be less than accurate.  What I found in the parody was a bitchy male-bash that could kill even Miley Cyrus’ libido, were that possible.  It was whinny, unoriginal, sterile…   Yet nudies in every time zone posted this thing like Bill Gates really did promise to pay them $5,000! 

Honestly, gentle loyal reader of these humble musings, if I thought being naked would help the planet, I would gladly assume my threadbare duty on a full time basis.  I only wish it was that easy.  “Okay Israel and Palestine, you kids quit fighting or these panties are coming off!  I mean it!  One more missile and you won’t see me in clothes for a month!” 

We nudists do not have to turn social nudity into a protest movement.  We do not have to justify the pleasure of socializing in our own skin in terms of its deterrent to the unfairness of this world.  We can be conscientious humans and take our clothes off in front of each other for the oldest and still best reason of all.  It’s great fun!

The column above appears in Nusa Sun Magazine, November, 2013.  It was originally the Facebook post below, but got such a reaction that my editor suggested I make it into a column. 

The Facebook Post:  I socialize naked!  Not to make a statement. Not to assert the feminist mystique. I am not trying to equalize women, men, rich or poor, something that is never going to happen. I seriously doubt our planet is dying, but if it is, my pre-meditated nudity is not the sacrificial offering that will save it. It gets worse folks. I do not even disrobe for that holiest of holies, diversity!

I take off my clothes in social settings because it is as natural as getting a cold beer from the 'fridge. I enjoy men too. I am not offended when they look at me in the nude. In fact, I kinda like it!

We Americans do not have to turn every pastime into a cultural movement or justify every pleasure in terms of its deterrent to social injustice. We can be "conscientious humans" and take our clothes off for the oldest and still best reason of all. It’s fun!  

 Please feel free to friend me and comment at facebook.com/chel.mcdonald.1 and please feel free to read my column in Nusa Sun Magazine. 

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