I wake up in the morning and look at my clock. It’s 4am and I’m still very tired but I can’t get to sleep. I decide to wake up and get out of bed. ‘You’re up early’ I hear my mom say. I turn around and say ‘Yeah I don’t know how but I woke up early?’ I say walking towards the bathroom. I get in and change my clothes I wear my tightest jeans and wear a blue tank top. I look in the mirror and I see my mascara is smudged all over my face. Shit. Maybe my mother saw it. It was very blazing so she probably did. I’ve been crying all night so that’s why it is all over my cheeks. I search something to remove my make-up but I don’t find something. I decide to wipe it off with water. It’s hard but it works. I put on some blush and add some mascara to my lashes. I run downstairs and start my computer I check my Tumblr it’s the best site ever. I can be myself on Tumblr the pictures I post are mostly about my life so you’d know I’m in depression. I don’t want anyone to find out about my Tumblr cause if they do it will ruin me. It’s already 6am when I shut down my computer. I put on my shoes and start walking I call Ali to ask where she is. ‘I’m almost there’ she says and I answer with a short ‘Okay’ and hang up. After a few minutes she arrives and I get in the car. ‘So what have you been doing while you were sick?’ I ask. She says she literally stayed in bed the whole day eating ice-cream. We arrive at school. I still can’t wait until college Alison will be my roommate and we will have a great time I won’t cut anymore – I hope – and the best thing is I won’t get bullied anymore. It’s like heaven I can finally escape from hell and I will go straight to heaven. It’s already an amazing feeling only thinking about the fact that I will be in college in less than a month. I keep dreaming until I’m interrupted by someone. ‘Yo slut get out of the way’ and it starts all over again. ‘I’m sorry’ I say quietly. The person stops and stares at me after a while he says ‘It’s Destiny the loser’ I hear him say asking the attention from the other people who are now looking at me to. I stay quiet I try to find Ali with my eyes I’m scared to move. ‘What got nothing to say?’ he asks. I’m terrified about the fact that everyone is looking at me. I can hear people laughing. ‘What the hell are you even wearing you know those jeans are too tight for your fat legs’ he says I gasp I want to cry but I can’t not in front of everyone. I will never cry in front of the whole school. ‘Actually she is fat isn’t she?’ ‘Omg’ ‘Poor girl’ ‘Shouldn’t we say something?’ I hear people whisper. Yes of course you should say something about it. Why leave me here standing in front of everybody. Being humiliated too everyone. The boy takes a step towards me and goes from whisper to yell. ‘Why don’t you JUST KILL YOURSELF!’ that’s it the where I want to burst into tears but I can’t. I can’t because I have to stay strong. I have to keep waiting ‘till I’m released from this hell. I will. I will get my freedom. That’s all I ever wanted. Freedom. I hear a lot of comments on the words that just came out of his mouth. I look into his eyes and because of all the comments I don’t know but I kind of see a little guilt in his eyes. A look that makes me think he wants to take back what he just said. He walks away very quickly. I hear people say. ‘Oh my god’ ‘He has gone too far on this’ ‘Why did he say that’ I guess the people who are saying those things want to help me but why do they just shut up. They don’t even try to say a word they just keep quiet. They don’t say a word. No word. I run to the toilets and I start crying. I’ve lost my mind again. I start crying I’m standing with my back against the wall and I slide down onto the cold hard ground. I shake my head and I keep saying no to myself ‘I can’t take this pain anymore’ I whisper while crying. I want to cry all the pain out. I start thinking about that one thing I do to get the pain out of my system. I go to the sink and look in the mirror. There is vapor on it. I’m still looking for my razor and when I find it I look in the mirror and say ‘I’m too fat’ I run to the toilet and vomit all the food I ate. I cry more and more. ‘Will it ever go away’ I say to myself. I can’t think about college it just won’t get inside my head. It’s the one thing that keeps me alive. I hear the door open and I put the razor inside my bag as fast as I can. I look at the boy who just came in. ‘A-are you alright?’ he asks. ‘This is the girls’ lavatory get out’ I say very harsh. I didn’t mean to snap at him but I don’t like it if people see me crying. ‘I know I saw what he said to you and I wanted to check if you were okay and not planning on doing something stupid’ he takes a step closer. I keep quiet and I don’t say a word and then I remember him. It’s the boy that was talking to me in the library. ‘So how are you?’ he asks I ignore his question. ‘Who are you? And why do you care?’ I say leaning against the wall not even looking at him. ‘I’m Zayn and I care because a normal person should’ he says he is actually very nice and the first person who does care about how I feel. ‘I heard you were being bullied? Destiny’ I’m shocked about the fact that people talk to me and that he knows my name. ‘Zayn… I don’t think you want to know anything about me it’s better you don’t know a thing, I lost my mind and..’ I stop regretting my words. ‘You didn’t lost your mind the bully’s did! I don’t get why they are being harsh to you it’s horrible and someone like you doesn’t deserve this’ Zayn says. ‘If I were you I’d better stay away from me, it’ll ruin whatever reputation you have’ I say while grabbing my bag and leaving. I hear him say something but I couldn’t clearly hear it.
I'm sorry the chapter is short but it's already late and i had no more ideas hope you like it
Thanks for reading :)
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Destiny is a girl who has been fighting against selfharming and boulimia for over 2 years. She gets bullied and she hates herself. She has a lot of problems at school and also at home. When she meets a boy named Zayn everything changes. But will he...