THIRTY-ONE

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LAST BIT NOT EDITED

THIRTY-ONE

It was some intense stare off, both our eyes locked on each other's and both reluctant to back down. There was a time where I couldn't hold his gaze for more than a second but, as this twisted relationship bloomed, I wasn't as threatened by him anymore.

The deadly silence that continued to brew around us was deafening. I could hear my own pumping heart inside of me, dancing close to my throat. Every breath I took was jagged, a funny feeling following as I took short breaths.

I was a fool indeed if I thought Link wasn't scary anymore.

"I think we should call it a night." He said after awhile, his voice a welcoming sound to my ears. Any longer in this silence and I would have exploded in my own head.

"Yeah," I agreed, my own voice smaller than his. I pushed off the chair and walked it back to the front door, avoiding any possible way for Link to say anything further. "Leave the chairs, I'll do them in the morning."

I half expected him to refuse and put the chairs back himself but instead, he too stood up and made his way off the front porch. Clearly he didn't want to spend any longer around here. "Goodnight," he called back without looking over his shoulder and started to walk away.

I watched his figure slowly start to become darker and smaller, until he blended into the night and disappeared. My hand reached out behind me to the door knob but I didn't go inside straight away, lingering by the front for a few moments.

Several images were flashing before my eyes and I had a sickening feeling of regret. I wanted nothing more in life to have a normal life where my parents were supportive and not distance with one another. I hadn't spoken to my Mother what feels like years, my father even more. It felt strange, the feeling that slowly started to evolve inside me was primarily aimed at my parents.

A sudden urge followed that feeling, and without thinking my actions through, I walked back inside the house and quickly grabbed what I needed and walked right out, making my way home.

****

The walk home was long to my feet but in my mind it seemed like I got back to my house quicker than I was prepared for. I wasn't done mentally prepping myself, building a barrier in a way that no one could penetrate it, especially my mother.

As I walked alone the quiet darkened street, I let my mind wonder. I let myself finally just think everything through.

The question that haunted for an answer for more than two years planted itself back in my mind once again. Why didn't I hand myself in? The possibility of allowing the better part of my morality outshine my never ending fear sent shockwaves through me. The possibility of everyone finding out what happened, the shock that would swim over everyone and eventually lead to hateful eyes pinpointed on me led to bile filling in my throat.

I couldn't find it in myself, past all the heavy guilt inside me, to hand myself over. Everything would be worse and for now, I could let all that happened be how it happened. The situation was put to rest, apart from a very avenge-driven brother who wanted nothing more than to put me through a miserable life.

Alas, I was going away soon, moving away from this city and hopefully start my life away from all of this.

I was way too far in the back of my head to register the sounds of another pair of feet hitting behind me in this silent street, until they were suddenly very close. My head snapped up and my ears were wide open, listening carefully to the footsteps behind me and trying to make out what they were doing.

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