Trusting You

Life sucks; but I guess that's a given. I am a strong believer that everyone, at least once in their life will say 'life sucks'. Even the happiest, most optimistic person in the world will have at least one down day, if not more. But not everyone captures the true meaning of those two words, like now for instance. I've said 'life sucks' many times before, when my assignment deleted half way through, when I dropped my palm cards in the middle of a presentation, when my mum said no to me eating Nutella. But nothing can be compared to this. My eyes burning and constantly watering, my feet feeling heavy as does my head, making it difficult to walk. My words coming out slurred and my brain unable to string many thoughts together.

No, I haven't been crying over a boy for hours.

No, I am not sick nor do I have any contagious or infectious disease.

No, I don't think I've been mysteriously drugged..

Instead its 3am, I'm in the non-

existent line at Starbucks, ready to order 2 espresso's, and one caffeine filled, energy flooded caramel mocha.

I wonder which one is mine.

As I shuffle my feet to the equally tired looking lady working at the register, I try to smile at her when telling my order but I'm pretty sure it made me look like a mangled horse. I honestly hope that this poor blonde women gets a pay rise soon, because this would have to be the worst shift in history.

But then again here I am working at 3am.

As she is the only person other than myself in the store she turns and proceeds to make the order I get a chance to see the surroundings. This is the first time I've been in this particular Starbucks, since I'd never needed a 24 hour one before, but I know for a fact that it won't be the last time I visit here. Even through the dim lighting I can see the supposedly inspirational canvases on the wall, saying things like 'Never give up', or 'If you can dream it you can do it'. These sayings, as cliché and overused as they might be, have got me to where I am today.

Standing in Starbucks as tired as hell at 3am on a Monday morning.

Did I mention it was Monday?

I was given my orders because retreating back into my car. Well, it's not my car, I'm 16 so I have my learners, but it's my mum's car. And since my mother is still in the car, she'd probably slap me if I said it was my car.

"You better thank me when you're older." My mum says for the umpteenth time this morning.

"I will," I reply whilst backing out of the car park.

"And you better put me in a good retiring home. The least I deserve is a peaceful ending."

"Sure."

My mother, like myself gets pretty delusional when up early. We are the type of people that can stay up until 5am no hassle, but as soon as we have to wake up before, let's say 3pm, we are pretty useless. Ok, maybe I was exaggerating slightly, but you get the gist. Anyways, the only real reason she was in the car and staying awake; was so we aren't breaking the law. Since learners have to drive with a fully licenses, and sober, passenger, she had no choice to come.

And for those who were wondering why my father can't take me. Let's just say, he is many kilometres away. A different continent in fact.

You see, my dad is a world renowned musician, by the name of Michael Hadvard, making me - the musically talentless daughter - Fiona Hadvard. I do have a brother, a twin brother to be exact, who goes by the name of Max; and in complete contrast of me is one of the most musically gifted people you'll ever meet. He can even sing for goodness sakes! I'm still known as the little sister though, because my brother popped out a lucky 17 minutes before me.