alternative

Leaving & Losing

Alternative

Chapter 6

I awoke to loud talking, once I realized it was multiple doctors and nurses, I immediately sat up and caught their attention.

Everyone stopped talking the moment they noticed I was awake.

I opened my mouth but decided not to speak, I didn't really want anyone to speak to me in return as well.

My life had been a mess up until this point, but it had been a healthy mess. Sure I had issues with my family, I didn't truly ever like myself or what I was doing, but the entire time I was suffering I had an unknown weight off my shoulders. I was always in shape, I always ate proper amounts, I always was able to have fun and run around with friends.

I felt like all of a sudden, that 'given' was being taken away from me.

"Aspen, I'm terribly sorry but I have to inform you that you have a rare disease," My original doctor spoke to me. I could see the remorse in his eyes, but that did not comfort me at all, it only brought me into further horror, "You're been diagnosed with osteosarcoma, a type of bone cancer. We noticed something strange in your x-rays, so we needed to do more research. I apologize for being so secretive, the staff just did not want to scare you if this was at all... not happening." He explained to me, no matter how much he explained to me though I did not feel a sense of safety.

I knew where the cancer was starting, I had been in so much pain recently but I just played it off as a pulled muscle.

"In your right knee, it has been spreading for a few months now. This is the first case of osteosarcoma I have ever seen, but I want to let you know we are going to do everything in our power to help you overcome this," I hadn't gotten one word in, and I was glad too because I didn't have one to say.

"It is one of the most common types of bone cancer, Aspen. So don't think you're the only one who has ever been through this. We can even bring in a specialist who has worked on many patients-"

"Will you shut up for one minute?" I felt rage run through me, the room went tense with silence. I covered my face and took a deep breath.

I couldn't process what this doctor was telling me, everything was happening so fast.

For some reason the first thing that popped into my head wasn't my family, my close friends, or anyone I had known for a lifetime. It was Alan, the actor I had met 24 hours ago.

"You're telling me... There's a chance I might die," I looked up at the doctor to confirm what he was informing me of.

He shook his head, "I'm telling you that there is a chance that you might live."

In that moment I knew what I had to do.

  •••

I tried to stay away from Alan, I really did.

But he is so handsome, I saw him down the hallway of the second floor and just stared at him for like two minutes before he turned and saw me. Imagine me, running with my IV and pole thingy down the hall with some middle aged man chasing after me. That wouldn't look too good.

Plus, he looked so happy when he saw me, but a humbled kind of happy.

He took his sweet time walking down the hall to reach me, once he got to me he gave me a little embrace for a second. It didn't feel weird at all, it felt like I had known him my entire life.

"Well Miss Aspen, it almost feels as if you've been... dare I say it, avoiding me?" The two of us began to walk down the hallway, being the gentleman he was, he pulled along my IV pole.

I bit my lip and shrugged, "I have not! You know those doctors wouldn't let me out, that's all," it was obvious that I was lying but he did nothing but give me a side glance.

The guilt immediately started to hit, I knew he knew I was avoiding him. There was no need for me to lie.

"Why wouldn't they let you out?" Alan asked suspiciously, I looked down at the floor and noticed his nicely polished shoes. They were a different pair than what he had on the other day, but I still walked around without anything on my feet.

"I think there was like a malfunction with the computer in there or something, my x-rays came out wrong and they were all concerned. But there's nothing to worry about, everything is sorted out now," I smiled at Alan, but he didn't seem satisfied at all with that answer.

"Why are you lying to me?" He asked, we took a turn to go into the elevator. Again, the secretary was nowhere to be seen.

My voice got stuck in my throat when he asked me that, "I'm-"

"Don't tell me you're not, I heard them, I came to find you to see if you were okay and waited outside," at this point we were facing each other in the elevator with the door closed, "I heard everything, Aspen. Don't tell me everything is okay," The amount of guilt I felt was unreal.

"There's nothing to worry about, I'm going to leave tomorrow and head home to be with my family. I know the survival rates are okay, but I don't have the money, Alan. The last thing I'm going to do is go home, be trapped there, and survive because I mooch off my parents. I'll be fine, promise, "I assured him, I started to leave the elevator but he took ahold of my hand.

I glanced back at him and his eyes were focusing on mine, "You're leaving?"

I swallowed, frozen in my position.

My eyes softened to his and he gently pulled me back into the elevator, the door shut behind me again and I watched Alan as he pressed the 4th floor button.

"Before you decide to leave, I need to show you something."

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