Missing You Is All I Can Think About

      I finally get of school after a long weekend then i do my usuall thing. Do my homework, clean, then my favorite part of my day, hang out with my ex boyfriend, well boyfriend at the time. We talk, and just hang out and talk about are day. Ok before i get to caught up in that lets rewind a back to summer. I had been dumped on the last day of school by whom i thought was my true love,  we dated for almost a year he was so sweet then after he broke up with me I saw a whole new side of him. It was mean, nasty, just Ew. Well life goes on. I went home to figure out we are finally moving from this old duplex we lived in to a new big house with lots of friends. Little did i know that there was somebody there that was going to be more than just a friend. His name is Josh. He was just so cute, i would say earassistable. But some how it was too good to be true! I hated that happened. Well me and Josh went out just to see if we liked each other in that way... We did! But like i said it was to good to be true. He was lying to me about everything he said "sorry" but for me it felt like i had been stabbed hard my my mom or something because I felt like i lived him and he hurt me. Bad! Okay now that i have that all straightened  out i can tell you what happened from there. I tell josh that I have to go to Kentucky for a birthday. I am going with my friend he had a strong and long past relationship with. This scared me. A lot!  So she came over and we packed for Kentucky. The next day me and Ashley got up and started to get ready to leave when i tried to call Josh he didn't answer,  that was weird because he told me to call him so he could say good bye to me. So i tried to call agean. No answer. So i asked Ashey to call him and there was three or four rings and then a voice picked up the phone. It was Josh! The first thing i thought was I want to see you! Then i started listening to what he was saying to Ashley. He said in fact he  wasn't doing anything. He was laying on his bed, playing on this phone. This worried me. I had just called him twice. He didn't answer. When Ashley told  him that she was still with me he suddenly had to go. This also worried me. So

we got in the car and begun what I thought was the worst car ride in my life. I feel asleep and woke up to my best friend stunned  over something a didn't know what! I didn't think I wanted to know. But i noticed something she had my phone and i asked her why she said because it was going off and it would stop ringing so i picked it up. I said who is texting me! She said you might want to see this i grabbed the phone, it was Josh! I was scared, i read the text my mouth dropped in surprise. i didn't want to cry so i laughed trying to prove I was strong but inside i was torn apart. The text read

"Amber i think we need a long break." so I kept on  asking what happened to being together forever  and he kept on saying i don't like dating you its to much drama. But i felt like it was more than just that. And it was! I figured out Josh was trying to get back with Ashley. I don't know why somebody would break up with somebody for their best friend that their with at the time of the break up. Well Ashley felt horrible and kept saying it would never happen. We arrived at Kentucky and i  just tried to keep my mind of it, that was hard. We got to the hotel then went out to eat and he was blowing up her phone and she was texting right back, i told her it was okay. But really inside i was angry, unwanted, scared,sad and devastated with a lot of Jealousness. But I hid all of that with an its ok or I'm fine why would i care. But i wondered what they were talking about.

   We got back to the hotel and  he was still texting her this time i told her my feelings and said i want to see what you are texting about, Now! I felt so used when I saw those texts! He had asked her out and the only reason she said no was because of me! And then I saw one that maid me cry, good thing we were by are self's. I let it all out because this felt like a stab in the heart and back! He told he that he loved her and that she was all he ever needed or wanted.

  That was MY LINE! That's are thing, that is supposed to be what he says to ME! Not to you! I was mad if you couldn't tell. I had to act okay, but I wasn't. It felt bad!

    The next day Ashley and I went to the natural bridge in Kentucky. It was fun, but I couldn't get my mind of Josh. And Ashley was texting him and I couldn't take it. Later that day we said bye to all of my family in Kentucky. Ashley and I got home at midnight so she just stayed the night with me. She did a great job of getting Josh off my mind. But then he face timed her and he looked at and frowned. He was with a couple of his friends who were angry with him that he broke up with me. We hung up the call and got ready. I wanted to make him regret breaking up with me. I did! We went to school the next day and I totally blocked Josh out. You could tell he wanted to talk to me. I blocked him out the hole week. I was in science one day and I was talking to my best friend Kevin and he was so hilarious and I looked at him and got lost in his beautiful ice blue eyes.

  Next thing I knew the question was asked to me, will you go out with me. Of course I said yes. We never talked though! And I just let that happen. Was it just me or do you see that huge difference in Josh and I's relationship and Kevin and I's. Well I did and I let that go on for two mouths. I was done! I put an end to that crap. I waited at leat a mouth to date agean and when I was ready I found josh right there begging for forgiveness and I gave that forgiveness. All of my friends say he is just going to break my heart agean. But so far, he hasn't and I'm glad that I have a solid relationship with someone whom is not only my boyfriend, but my best friend. And I love him as of now me and Josh have been dating almost a year! I couldn't be a happier person! So the lesson hidden behind all of this madness is people change sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worst. Just always give forgiveness.