Will I always be; The girl he made me?

There is no hope. #1

I am the girl he's made me, the girl he has turned me into - every aspect of me moulded into the perfect robot he could only ever dream of owning. The girl everyone probably thinks is dead by now, the missing girl from 22 Westbrook High Academy. They warned me about him.. everyone warned me about him.

I am his slave -

It started by me being his set up chick, then when I finally refused to set anyone up he started to abuse me. He should have never started hanging around or associating with these stupid fools that call themselves 'THUGS' if you ask me they don't know the first thing about being a thug. They really wanna be thugs? They should try living in America where I used to live, they was the real Mo'fukin thugs, these washed up, dragged up donkey looking ass boys don't know shit. 

One day he decided to enlighten me on one of his set-ups he had been planning for the whole year and a half he held me hostage in this shit whole. "What I'm telling you is you need to lose your virginity! I don't really give a fuck how long you been trying to hold that shit and I know we made promises to lose our virginities to one another when we first got together but all that gotta go out the window cause I need you to be all the way fucking him!"  his eyes pierced through my soul as he spoke, how could he even suggest me sleeping with another man? Not that i'd ever consider myself even losing it to him either let alone sleeping with him now. he disgusted me. I was ashamed to have ever fallen inlove with this bum ass nigga. 

I sat silently almost replaying what he had just said to me. "Did you fucking hear me or what?" he spat, I continued to sit still watching as he tensed up. "I KNOW YOU CAN FUCKING HEAR ME TALKING TO YOU FUCKING UGLY BITCH"  he yelled. I looked at him like he was all the way mad "you trippin" I chuckled walking to the window and looking out onto the dusty atmosphere through all the emptiness. I was knocked out of my thoughts as I felt someone grab my hair and throw me into the cabinet. 

"APRIL YOUR GONNA DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I TELL YOU TO DO, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO UNDERSTAND IM THE BOSS AND YOUR THE PUPPET?"  he hissed coldly, whilst hovering over me like a evil serpent. "i aint doin shit nigga, and yo ass know full well i aint."  I half cried half spat. I was in so much shock I'm sure that's what saved me from the pain I could sense in the left hand side of my ribs. I was only refusing because I don't want to lose my virginity. that's supposed to special isn't it? This was gon be the biggest set up they woulda done, and i refused. I aint loosing my virginity to no stranger, and I definitely would never stay after how he spoke to me so i left without telling him. I ran when I could.  I went back to my mother in LA. Where I used to live with her I stayed there for a month until she sent me back because she had to go to Spain and my dad refused to let me go with her. 

I had graduation to think off after all.

 When I got back to London they left me alone for 2 years meaning I could get on with my work But I fell in love with him again. It's normal isn't it? He did steal my heart when I was 13. Everyone thought my life was great. I was the brightest out of my brothers and sisters. I finished school 2 years early as I was way beyond and super dedicated to my work. I went college and went to UNI and it wasn't until one day when everyone was throwing me a so called graduation party they came and took me... I haven't seen my family or friends since.

This is what I get for falling in love with him, this is what I get for not learning my lesson the last time. He got worse, 10x worse. I was allowed to eat but only if i cooked, he had hoes every night fucking them in front of me or in the other room he didn't care, it didn't make no difference to him whatsoever but he would still tell me he loved me.

His attitude has spiralled out of control in  these last 2weeks I've hardly ate because i can barely move let alone cook because he started beating me up all the time.  He would force his fingers inside me and finger me hard  but he never took my virginity. But lord if there's hope let it show! 

**This time won't you save me this time won't you save me,  I feel myself giving up, g-**

-Hello 

... 

-APRIL? are you there? 

Me- Justin? 

-April? Baby, it's me, where are you? Are you okay? you've been missing for a month! 

He's controlling me and baby  I questioned. I'm not your baby  

what do you mean?!!. Listen where the fuck are you? 

 his trap house

I heard my voice echo and the line cut off.

He walked in, stood there looking down with that smug disgraceful smirk on his face. 

"so you want to be telling people where you are?" a look of disgust smothered his face he's hand flew towards my face '👊' he punched me, my face was now burning it felt like blood was trying to pour its way out so I screamed so loud I thought my throat was going to explode. 

"shut up" he hissed  

"your sickening do you know that!?"  I spat at him 

"Ahh shutup, you know you love me"  I watched him smirk 

"LOVE!? You don't even know the meaning anymore".

Fuck a bitch with no meaning, fuck a bitch with no feeling  

That sickening rap of his blasted as his ringtone 

"-yoo G, -.. Yeah man -.. Got her here still, -... She's a beauty, you man know her, -...Nahh blood. -yeahhhh! -.. The bitch mad crazy-... *laughing* yeah come"

I felt worried, then he turned to me and grinned  

"I'm sorry"  

"sorry???" I trembled 

"I still love you deep down"  he chuckled a bit and then pulled a sympathetic facial expression. Before I could even say anything the door started banging and I automatically screamed. 

He leant forward and kissed my cheek. Then he's Mandem came rushing in circulating me.

"aaay she's gone be a maud beat"  

I looked at Jamaine who was just eyeing up some girls they had brought with them, I traced my eyes in a long narrow line to see where this prick was actually looking. HER?! There sat my enemy Lequana Lorraine the bitch. She screwed me then laughed as the boys started touching me up.

"please, leave me"  I cried 

Please lord don't let them hurt me.They all laughed, there was no hope, I looked up and that's when I noticed him.. he was like an angel, his big beautiful chocolate chestnut eyes gleaming right at me with guilt, he slowly smiled at me showing a full set of bright white teeth shining. 

"ayy yo man, ima have to cut" ...."Ahh your missing out G" it would have to be this big gorilla ashies talking I've hated this boy since DAY. 

He just remained silent and rolled his eyes miming to me from what I could make out 'Be strong'. 

My heart started racing was Jamaine really going to let his boys hurt me?