When Does the Pretending End?

Chapter 88- Things Change

  Lucy's Pov

Note to one's self. Three year olds and baths equals a mess I think as I walk to the bedroom. "Hey" I say surprised to find Cris sitting on the couch as I open the door. I undo a couple of buttons on my blouse and shake it to stop the blouse from sticking to my skin. "Your nephew thought it would be funny to see how wet he could get me" I say kicking of my boots and begin to take of my tights. "Thankfully he didn't soak me too much" I say to him leaning one hand against the dresser to stop me from falling. I turn and look at Cris when he doesn't say anything. "Why so glum?" I ask noticing the look on his face. He looks so lost in thought. He had being in a happy mood when I left him in the games room.

"It's..." "Don't say nothing" I say interrupting him. I fix my hair into a bun. "I was just thinking" he says watching as I tie my hair into a bun. "Hey that's my line" I say and a small smile appears on his face. "What were you thinking about?" I ask. He rubs his forehead. "Just something Hugo and Zé said" he says. "Cris" I say.

"I'm sorry" he says. "What are you sorry for?" I ask. He grunts. "Hugo is right. I am selfish. I only think of myself" he says. "Cris we have already discussed this" I say. "Come on Luce. Who was I thinking about when I tried to get you to sleep with so I'd drop the charges against Tina? Cos it wasn't you or her. It was all about me that day. I didn't care" he says.

Why is he bringing this up now? "You were right to slap me that day. I was wrong. What kind of man takes advantage of someone like that? I was only thinking about myself. No wonder you hated me. I'm sorry. If I could go back and change it all I would. I saw how desperate you were. I should never had pushed you. If my Papi was here he would be so ashamed of me" he says and my heart breaks listening to him talk about his dad.

"Cris that's all in the past" I say walking over to him. I don't know what to say to him. "Hugo's right" he mumbles. "Hey if there's one thing I don't want to hear coming from your mouth then its Hugo's right ok?" I say sitting in his lap.

He looks up in surprise to find me in his lap, but he moves his arm around my waist holding me as his other hand rests on my knee.

"What happened that day happened. I'd change a lot about that day. But I can't and neither can you" I say. "Wanting a different outcome for Tina is not the same as using you for my own benefit" he says. "Ya as you have told me so many times, I shouldn't blame myself for Tina's trouble. And you shouldn't blame yourself for what happened afterwards" I say. "I was a jerk" he says. "Yes you were. You were a jerk and an asshole and I couldn't wait to get away from you the whole time you spoke while I tried to calm Tina down" I say. He looks away.

"But I was angry and in shock. You were angry and annoyed. And the whole thing was a mess. I would have thought Josh was a jerk if he acted the way you did that day" I say. "Josh would never have asked you to sleep with him to help Tina" he says.

"Well I'm not exactly his type now am i?" I say trying to make him smile but he doesn't. "Does it matter how you acted then. I have totally different thoughts about you now. And you've done nothing but act un selfish the whole time your family has been here" I say. "Seriously Cris stop listening to your brother. Stop beating yourself up about how you acted. I'm here now. Does he matter how?" I ask. "I'm sorry. But you wrong" he mumbles.

I take a deep breath.

"That night I came here" I say. "Look at me" I say tugging his chin towards me so he was looking straight into my eyes. "Yes" he says. "That night I came to this house and we came up here" I say looking back at the bed. I take another deep breath.