she never thought she'd ever live to see the day. to see the day the whole school lowered their heads in sadness, their screams being heard from a mile away along with their awful cries. a pitiful melancholy sensation, a depressive atmosphere made its way to the school following the news.
the death. the suicide of an important student within the school, an important athlete that everyone saw as a source of inspiration and jealousy.
and when it was announced through the intercom that morning in first period, so loud and clear, yet you could hear the disappointment in the principal's voice as he spoke.
words shaky, breath hitched as he says: students, i am sadly here to announce the death of our beloved athlete and student, jeon jeongguk. he was found at six fifteen this morning in the gym. death by suicide, death by hanging. this is truly a sad day. he will be missed.
and she remembered the immediate change in her fellow peers' attitudes. the look on her teacher's face. she remembered sitting up in her seat, staring straight ahead at the chalkboard.
still waiting for class to begin. still waiting for her day to begin. no sudden change in her emotion ー emotionless. she felt nothing upon hearing the news. no sympathy. no anything.
she only felt tired. was already yearning dismissal so she could go home and plop down on her bed and gain back the extra hours of sleep she'd missed.
the news followed her all throughout the day. from morning to afternoon. everyone scurrying around like mice. whispering to each other, crying with each other, being sad zombies with each other.
someone had asked her, or so she had recalled, someone had asked her why she wasn't crying and she looked at them and said, "it's your fault he's dead if you couldn't sense his sadness beforehand."
she was often labeled as cruel and mean, the devil. was often labeled as ugly and weird. the way she carried herself all mysterious and quiet, barely uttering a word. only proving the rest of the students' points about her being a strange girl. that she was probably a sociopath.
but she was always watching from the sidelines. on the sidelines was where she observed everybody the most, and that's how she knew that jeon jeongguk wasn't as happy as he made everyone think.
that's how she saw his sadness firsthand, how she sensed the longing to be gone within him. the happiness was an act, that's what she'd figured out. this suicide was a successful attempt, and it did have a reason.
she never thought she'd live to see the day where her fellow peers would be so distraught over the loss of a admired student and athlete.
but she also never thought she'd ever live the day to see her fellow peers be so blind to someone's true emotions.