[S1] Jaime Lannister x Reader {PART 2} { The Struggles of Love }

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As a person, you had a large pride for your family, and their achievements. Yes, the L/N Family were, in your eyes, ambitious people. You yourself were in the process of achieving your personal ambitions- but your father was the best Blacksmith in Winterfell, and your older brother was doing an excellent job at advertising the smithery throughout the whole of The North- in her time, your mother had been an amazing florist and had made her business in High-garden.

And your sister? She was one of about 6 translators in King's Landing, and knew several languages fluently. But, she had fallen sick, and through your concern, you had decided to visit her, and had been granted access to one of the wagons leaving for King's Landing-

At the same time as Ned, Arya, Sansa- and the Lannisters...

Jaime.

Your mind couldn't escape from what had happened a few days ago, it kept on replaying the moment as if the kiss you had shared had cracked your mind so that nothing before or after could be remembered, only that instance.

For some reason, you felt a close attachment to Jaime, even though you were sure, after what you had seen, that you couldn't ever have a chance with him- you may have ambition in your veins but that was far, far out of reach.

---

The wagon rattled about violently during your journey as you leaned at the back of it, gazing distantly off at the cloudy white sky, eyes lost in a wondrous daze as they followed the spontaneous, yet neat patterns of the sprinkle of rain that fell from the heavens.

You felt the violent rattling bump of the wagon decrease, and noted an increase in the raucous babbling of those unfortunate enough to be walking on foot, and so your curiosity got the better of you and you leapt from the wagon temporarily, following it on foot as you gasped at what everyone was chattering about-

King's Landing, a magnificent scarlet sight from afar that was towering and rich with the flaming colours that the Targaryens had imprinted in their building of the booming city- it truly was a sight to behold.

You did not bother returning to the wagon as the long party of people were lead into the city- you were determinedly headed for The Red Keep, where your sister was staying in the mid-levels.

As you continued down the long, main Street that headed towards the Keep, the party petered off, people turning down alleys and roads- until you nervously trailed behind a group of three ambassadors- and the Lannisters.

Ned had stopped off at a tavern on business and so Arya and Sansa had raced on, whilst Cersei's carriage had continued on ahead, meaning only Jaime and two King's Guards were left at the front of the cart.

Though you kept your head low, you couldn't help but steal quick glances at Jaime now and then, even if only for a few fleeting seconds- but one time, as you lifted your head to glance at him, he himself had been surveying the people on their way into the castle-

And your eyes met.

His expression was the very same one he had held twice before- a twinge of surprise, always mixed with a hint of some other emotion. You looked at each other for several seconds, before both quickly averting your eyes as you remembered...

You were beginning to wish you hadn't climbed that tower after all.

---

As you entered the Castle with your warrent, signed by some Lord or another who Overlooked passes, and your sister, you found yourself accompanied by none other than Jaime as you both approached the castle gates, "Ser Jaime." You politely, and yet nervously greeted, not even glancing sideways yet feeling his eyes boring into your own,

"My lady, what a coincidence to see you here." His tone at first seemed flat, and yet you could sense some relief within it.

"Indeed." Was your vague reply, as you spend your pace- if only you could reach those large doors quicker-

You felt a rough, warm hand lock with own as you passed through a secluded area of the lower courts of the castle, where lesser merchants mingled who were poor enough not to afford a place further into the castle's reach, but rich enough not to live in the slums.

You were suddenly tugged off down a walkway to an area completely absent of people, and you gave a fearful look to the grim Jaime, fearing the worst. As soon as an instance of silence had passed between you two, and you yourself had asserted yourself that nobody was nearby, you began to blurt your words,

"I-I swear to you, that I h-have said nothing to anyone- please, I've come to visit my sister and I-"

As you stammered out your words, you saw his expression soften, and he held up a hand, signalling for you to refrain from your speech- so you did.

He let out a single breath of laughter, before shaking his head mildly, "I'm not going to kill you..." He softly assured, lowering his hand, and staring off to the side briefly in thought as he prepared his own words again, "I came to speak about the other day... I have a lot I need to say." He admitted, looking about him and eventually leaning next to you on the wall of the cottage you were behind.

He was soft with his words, and you were surprised at how deep he had been thinking. With flush in his cheeks, he admitted of his love for Cersei, with little elaboration, moving quickly off of the subject, and speaking of how he felt when he met you, "When I saw you- I felt like I had been hit. Not in a bad way- like being thrown from a state of shock- I thought of it little after- until you saw of... Well, I don't need to say much more." He had mumbled, before continuing on his story.

He told you that he might have killed any other person, but he couldn't bring himself to it in that occasion, something was preventing him. And, when he saw you again outside the room, all of his thoughts and curiosities had got the better of him, and he had to see what it felt like to kiss a different woman.

"It was... Amazing. The feelings I've felt, the kiss- it's something I've never experienced before. I've never... Felt. I haven't known love outside of my sister- but..." He turned his head restlessly at that point, but you noticed his face had gone pinkish, and you smiled softly, "It's okay, go on."

He turned suddenly then, his direct eye contact channeling sincerity as he said his next words,

"This love is far better than the love I had before. It feels... Dangerous, and I wanted to avoid it- I didn't want you to get hurt or me to feel hurt..."

He leaned a little closer to you then, with a smoother tone, "But I don't think I can." You and he both slowly seemed to fall into such a delicate kiss- it was like the clouds that you had seen that day, earlier, so dainty and light. Your lips only just joined, but they connected like two hands briskly brushing against each other. You closed your eyes, taken in by the gesture, and this feeling of tasting clouds lasted for a minute of eternity, before you parted, just staring at each other.

Leaning forward, you embraced the slightly taller man, and closed your eyes, smiling as he spoke and his voice buzzed in his chest, making you feel fuzzy,

"I hope this can last... And work out. But it might take a while."

You giggled, and replied back, "I would wait forever, that's how you play the game of love- patience."

You shot back, frowning, "Just... Try and make sure I don't get murdered by Cersei."

And yet whatever the risks, you had changed your mind about one thing;

You were damn glad you had climbed that tower.

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