Everywhere I looked there were people lying or sitting on the ground or got carried by their friends or a medic. What the hell had happened?!

I tried to ask the medic but they had no idea.

"I need to find someone" I said to the nurse as he finished taking my blood.

"Okay, well there's a phone out here that you can use if you need to"

"No I mean here, at the hospital" I explained the situation for him but he had no idea who I was talking about, he hadn't seen her.

"Do you know her name? Maybe we can find her in the register if she's here."

"No I don't know her fucking name..." I muttered and he walked out of my room.

My room had windows out to the hall and this floors reception so I could see all these people walking around or waiting for someone they knew.

I sat up on the bed, not sure of what to do. I had to wait for another hour or so since they had to test my blood and probably do an X-Ray on my lungs to make sure I hadn't inhaled a lot of smoke. My throat felt dry so I went out in the hall to get some water.

I found a water machine in the waiting area so I walked over and sat down for a while in one of the seats.

"Were you in the subway-accident?" a middleaged woman with blonde hair asked me.

I nodded in response.

"I'm so sorry" she said.

"Do you know anyone who was there?" I asked her.

"My son. They're operating on him right now." Tears started streaming down her face and she tried to wipe them off with the back of her hand.

"I'm sorry too" I said to her and put my hand on her arm.

Then I spotted someone in the other side of the hall, walking away. She had the same hair as the girl I met, it had to be her?!

I ran after her as she disappeared around a corner.

"Hey!" I yelled as I spotted her again about 20 feet in front of me.

She turned around, and gave me a confused look.

It wasn't her.

"I'm sorry" I excused myself and walked back to my room. Damn it. She had to be here.

I layed back on my bed to wait for the doctors to come back.

"May I come in?" I heard a voice say. It was the woman from the waiting room.

I nodded for her to sit down in the chair.

"I figured since we were both waiting..."

"He looks a lot like you. My son" She said while sitting down. "He's very...punk or what you call it"

I smiled towards her.

"What's his name?"

"Tyler" she looked down on her pressed together hands.

"I hope he'll be alright" I said.

"If you don't mind, could you tell me what happened down there? What did you see?" She asked. I could see she was concerned for me but also for her son.

I told her what I knew and what happened to me and the girl. I also told her I lost her.

"You have to find her, is she here maybe?" she looked shocked and also a little desperate. "You two need each other right now!"

"Yeah I don't know if she's here" I said. "I tried looking for her"

The doctor came in with my chart and the woman excused herself and left the room. I saw her sitting down in a chair in the waiting area.

"You have no injuries or smoke in your lungs, the tests look fine" he said and sat down in the same chair as the woman sat in. "And the ringing in your ear will go down in a few days. We are willing to discharge you now if you like"

Whatever, I'd probably never find the girl anyway. Might as well go home.

"Sure, discharge me" I said and signed the paper.


The hospital let me borrow a room with a shower so I was just getting ready to leave when I decided to go by the waiting area to say good bye and good luck to the woman I talked to earlier. When I got there I scanned the area and found her talking to two doctors in the corner. I couldn't hear what they said because of the distance and all the other people talking, but her face went from worried to crushed. She fell to the floor crying while pressing her arms around her body, as if she tried to keep herself from falling apart. I was paralyzed. I can't believe Tyler died.

She was guided by the doctors to a room, probably so she could talk to a shrink or something, and she didn't see me as she passed. I could feel my eyes fill up with tears, why was everything in life so unfair?! I was supposed to be on that train too!

If that girl hadn't been there to stop me, would I even be alive right now? Would that be my mom waiting for the "I'm sorry we did everything we could"-talk?

I couldn't stop thinking of how her tiny body became so heavy as she passed out, how her small hands just fell to the ground.

I walked towards the exit with a tear in my heart, it would never feel the same.

"Excuse me?" Someone called behind me so I turned around.

It was a nurse, maybe they forgot something.

"Were you at in the subway-accident?"

"uhm... yeah" I was confused. Didn't she have my chart?

"Did you help a girl out of there? A blonde, pretty short?"

"Yes!" My eyes lit up. Was she here?

"Come with me" the nurse said and started walking.

We went to the other side of the hall, all the way to the end. She stopped by the door and gestured for me to go inside.

So I did.



And btw I wont be home for the weekend so the next update will be sunday. 
I'm really sorry about that too :((
But until then; read my finished fanfic, called Sometimes Quiet is Violent. It's in my profile :)

Holding On To You (Josh Dun) (Wattys16)Read this story for FREE!