You And I

• Depressed •

Denis woke up the next morning to bright sunshine in his face. He yawned, he must've fallen asleep on the couch. He spotted James on the couch across from him and and Cam's arm was sticking out of his bunk, Sam, however, was no where in sight. The Ukrainian stood, walking over to the bathroom with a change of clothes. "Oh, so that's where you were..." He muttered with a smirk as he stepped over Sam who was passed out on the ground between bunks.

Being quiet, Denis showered and changed, brushing his teeth and doing his hair. When he was done, he decided to be nice and set up water bottles and aspirin, leaving a note before he left the bus. The air outside was clear and crisp, and the sun was making things just the right temperature. Denis went to the nearest park, which was empty this early in the morning, and sat on a bench. His mind instantly floated to Ben, his adorable brown locks and enticing blue eyes, not to mention that sexy moan of his....

"Mind if I sit here?" A light voice interrupted his thoughts, "oh uh, yeah, sure." He responded, scooting over. "Thanks." Replied the girl. Denis took a quick look at her and saw that her eyes were a deep brown which contrasted nicely with her pale skin. She had full lips and silver hair, plus an eyebrow and septum piercing. "My name is Luna" She smiled, revealing a pair of almost real looking fangs. "I'm Denis." He replied, giving a polite grin.

"So what are you doing out here this early?" She asked. "Just thinking..." He shrugged. "May I ask what about?" She pressed. "Uhm..."
Denis bit his lip, eh, why not? "Well I think I'm gay for my best friend who I'm pretty sure is straight...." Luna blinked, "wow, that's tough....you said you think he's straight?" She questioned. Denis nodded, "Yeah, I have my suspicions that maybe he's bi because he's definitely not gay." Luna smiled, "I wish you luck with him and I've gotta go, but here, call me if things get rough, okay?" She handed him a paper with her name and number, "okay."

Denis watched Luna go and smiled, what a nice girl. "Better head back..." He sighed, standing up and heading to the bus.

Ben awoke with a slight hangover, it wasn't bad, but he wanted aspirin all the same. He slid out of his bunk, careful to avoid stepping on Sam or hitting Cam's arm. "Bloody jackasses..." He rolled his eyes at their precarious positions before his gaze fell upon a few water bottles and aspirin. Ben trudged over, drinking a bottle and downing a pill, gazing at a note beside the bottles. When he finished, he picked up the note, it read:

Hey guys, it's Denis, I'm out right now, but I should be back soon. Anyways, I left out aspirin and water for your hangovers. Don't forget to be ready for soundcheck at two!

~Denis

Ben placed the note down and sighed, what was Denis doing to him? Normally he'd be thinking about girls and booze, but now his mind was all over Denis. His soft hair and beautiful brown doe eyes. He was so cute and handsome....Dammnit Ben! Stop being gay! He scolded himself. This was dumb. This was so stupid. Perhaps a shower would help him relax? He grabbed his clothes and went into the bathroom, starting the shower.

Ben being Ben, however, started thinking, dirty....He pictured the first thing that came to mind which of course happened to be Denis. Ah, fuck it. Ben thought, letting his mind do as it wished. He bit his lip as he imagined Denis' thin, lean body, dripping with water. He imagined his brown eyes laced with lust and those perfectly plush lips, god how he missed those lips...Ben felt a bit of a problem arising and he quieted the logical side of his brain, letting himself have this moment.

When Denis got back to the bus, the guys were all up. "Thanks for the aspirin, mate." James commented upon seeing him enter the bus. The other guys muttered their thanks, trying not to worsen their hangovers. "Where's Ben?" Denis asked, not seeing said British boy anywhere. Cameron just lamely pointed to the bathroom and Denis nodded, "okay, thanks Cam."

Ben turned off the shower and frowned at himself in the mirror as he dried off. What he'd done in the shower, it couldn't happen again. He wasn't gay, he wasn't and he never would be. Ben ran a hand through his hair and sighed, he'd avoid Denis as much as he could and he would get with as many girls as possible in order to forget about him. He threw on his clothes and prepared himself for soundcheck. When he was done, he gathered up the boys, completely ignoring Denis who had shown up while he was in the shower.

Over the course of a week, Denis grew to completely accept his feelings for Ben and Luna became one of his closest friends, helping him with every problem. However, Denis became more depressed with every passing day. He knew Ben was ignoring him and it was killing him, but he couldn't do anything but plaster a smile on his face and pretend it was okay. Denis eventually got to a point where even Luna's words had no effect, he felt so lost, like he wasn't good enough and he never would be. By then, Ben hadn't spoken to Denis in two weeks and gradually, line after line appeared on Denis' stomach.

Denis was in the bathroom, staring deeply into his own eyes in the mirror. He frowned, removing his shirt to reveal hundreds of cuts across his stomach. he glared at them, a reminder of how imperfect he was, how stupid and ignorant he was. How blind he was to even think he'd ever have a chance with Ben. Suddenly, as if on cue, the door opened and Ben walked in, firstly shocked to see Denis, but then horrified when his eyes landed on the cuts. "Denis.." He breathed. The singer burst into tears and grabbed his shirt, running past Ben. He slipped it back on before the other guys in the main room could see, but he didn't stop running.

"Denis! Denis stop!" Denis heard Ben's pleas, but they only made him run faster. Down the hill, across the street and into the woods. He dodged low branches and jumped over roots that peaked out of the ground. Denis stopped, needing to catch his breath, but despite its shortness, it was enough time for Ben to catch up. "Denis I-" the singer darted forward, looking down instead of where he was going. "Wait dammnit!" Be began running again, locking his icy blue eyes with Denis' dark brown ones. "Watch out!" Ben screeched, but was too late.

Denis smashed his skull straight into a thick tree branch.