How I feel when I'm around you (System Of A Down)(EN)

Studio day

-Nikki-

Sitting in Serj's room in front of the computer, with a hot cappuccino to my right, I wait for internet connection to start working so I can check out my e-mail.

We came back in the USA a few days ago and there's a bit of waiting before starting the American section of the tour, but these days will be busy anyway: the guys let me know that some of the songs they recorded in the sessions for "Toxicity" have been leaked online so now they have to rush a bit and work on this material that is going to be in a new album probably due in the end of the year. Right now I'm again a guest in their house; this morning I asked the permission to use the computer and they gazed at me, amused, saying "No need of asking".

I find there's a new e-mail from Hilary and it's already a week old, so I run and open it.

"Dear Nikki, good news! Don't know if you remember that I told you I was writing a book since some time... well, I finished it shortly after your departure for the tour, I took courage and went to some publishers to show and, big surprise, one of them accepted! It has already been published and a fairly good number of copies has already been sold! I also have to confess that I took some inspiration from you for one of the characters of the story, somehow you'll become famous as well maybe, hope it isn't a problem for you. Kisses, Hilary xx"

I let out a little scream of joy, being happy for my friend who finally got a good chance to make a living with one of her passions, then I slightly blush, thinking about being a kind of inspiration for a character. I'm so curious, can't wait to read it!

I tap repeatedly on the keyboard, mentally composing the answer, then I start typing very quickly, accompanied by the ticking of the keys.

Once I've sent the e-mail I turn off the computer and take some sips of the still warm cappuccino, feeling strangely quiet, then my attention gets caught by some slightly creased written papers lying in a corner of the desk, whose existence I didn't notice before because I had other worries; I know I shouldn't wander through the guys' stuff, but the curiosity is very strong and in the end I don't want to cause any damage, I just want to know what is it.

I pick up the first paper sheet very carefully, as if it's a precious object: lyrics of a possible song are written on it, maybe of one of the songs that have been leaked... the fact that it is about pizza makes me giggle, the guys were probably hungry when they wrote this; after a while I put it down.

The next paper has text written on it in a different handwriting, I somehow perceive it might perhaps be the singer's handwriting: there's a name, mr. Jack, that recurs quite often in these lyrics and it makes me wonder about who this man could be, but I don't know who could answer my question, after all it could be something casual.

Just before putting the papers in order I notice the third sheet of the little stack... there's the word "Roulette" written in capitals on top of the page, there are many erasures and re-written things here and this time I recognize Daron's calligraphy.

I have a problem that I cannot explain

I have no reason why it should have been so plain

Have no question but I sure have excuse

I lack the reason why I should be so confused

I, I know how I feel when I'm around you

I don't know how I feel when I'm around you

I stop right after the first verse and chorus, thoughtful. It looks like a kind of love song, probably an exception in the production of the guys, the words sound so good together and this makes me want to listen to the actual song so bad.