he didn't know what to think anymore.
he didn't know if he even could think anymore.
he sat alone in the corner of the empty practice room in the middle of the night. his black hoodie covered half his face as he stared blankly at his dimly lit phone.
he couldn't stop reading the messages over and over again.
god, he hated that nickname. but everytime she called him that, he couldn't stop the butterflies that fluttered in his stomach.
"are you doing well? it's been a while since you've replied to me. even though you're super busy, stay healthy! love you!"
his heart felt like someone was squeezing it.
and that someone was her.
"i saw your latest music video. you've made another amazing song! your group is becoming more and more successful as each day passes. are you getting enough sleep? i hope you are. i love you!"
he grit his teeth. how stupid he was to not respond to her all these months. he couldn't even scroll to find the last time he had replied to her. it had been too long. he assumed that the last message he had left her with was probably a "night" or a "bye".
"kookie-ah, you've matured so much. it's kind of hard to call someone as handsome as you my boyfriend anymore, haha. am i worthy enough to say that? anyways, i hope you're eating well. love you!"
the real question was if he was worthy for her. with every text she sent him, she never failed to tell him she loved him.
...when was the last time he had told her he loved her?
he couldn't even remember.
he closed his eyes as he took a large inhale of breath, followed by a shaky exhale.
"jungkook, you looked a little out of it at your last interview. is everything okay? i hope you're doing well. don't let the stress get to you, okay? you're strong! you're the strongest person i know! fighting! i love you!"
he remembers that interview. he had gotten less than four hours of sleep because the previous day was a photoshoot that lasted late into night.
but no one had noticed his worn out attitude except her. she always had a way to read his emotions inside and out.
the same couldn't be said for him, though.
"sorry, i'm probably bothering you with these messages, right? you don't seem to want to respond... is everything okay? don't forget that i'll love you no matter what happens!"
that was the first message that she didn't address his name first.
the next message came a month later.
"you look so happy with your group members. that makes me happy. don't forget to take care of yourself, though. myself and your army's would be worried sick if you got ill. i love you."
a tear slipped out of his eye as he scrolled more.
the next message came another month later.
"hey, kookie. did you change phones or something? i was just wondering why you haven't been responding. stay healthy and happy. you know i love you, right?"
yes, he knew. he knew that very well.
the next message didn't come for another five months.
"jungkookie, how are you doing? i hope you're doing well. sometimes those interviews can be deceiving. are you getting enough sleep? are you eating well? i'm starting to act more like a worried mother rather than a girlfriend, haha."