Daughter 4254

Chapter 5

I spent as much time as I could pouring over what I thought I might need to know in the library. I turned in my application two hours before the deadline and went home to try and absorb as much as I could from my old paper readers - the ones they hadn’t made me turn back in for the following grades. I thought I would have trouble sleeping that night, but as I lay in bed waiting for the power allotment to run out and the lights to dim, I found myself thinking again about how impossible all of this really was. As I thought about all the classes I had ever taken and skill sets they’d tried to train me in, I realized that this was probably something I should have been preparing for my whole life. Most young ones in the upper stations probably did train their whole lives for this day. There wasn’t any possible way for me to logically make it to the next level. I had no reason to be nervous because there was no chance for me to succeed. This dark thought rose slowly into my waking mind and, once present, quickly carried me off into a heavy, dreamless sleep.

 Before the sun rose the next morning, I thought I heard the door chime several times for our pod. I sat up wondering who was here at this hour and why my father hadn’t answered the door. I stumbled around, looking for my clothes and was a little more awake when I heard the chime again. Only it wasn’t the door chime - it was the bird! I knew the sound instantly once my mind had cleared. I raced to climb up my bed and hoist open my window. I was too loud and too sudden in my excitement. Just as I got the glass up, I was able to see the little bird flying away from the branch where he had been exclaiming brightly by my window. He paused for a moment on a tree just beyond the dirt path behind our pod, chimed once more, and then flew off into the woods.

 My heart was beating out of my chest. This had to mean something. I hadn’t seen the bird since well before my mother became sick. He was so bright and beautiful. It had to mean something good. But my mother’s words came back to me then... “If you see this bird again, you should either run from it or report it. Do not dwell on it. It is a sign of heartbreak. I can promise you.” Dread filled my stomach at the recollection. But how could something so wonderful be bad? Why would I report it like someone reporting on a small, harmless child? But the words of our reader echoed in my head as well: The community goal for the song bird should be extinction.

 I dressed quickly and attempted to leave the pod unnoticed before normal hours.

 “Where are my breakfast rations?” My brother was already up and ready to lord over me in the kitchen.

 “You’ll have to get it yourself.” Of course I had lied when I told the front lady I would take care of my brother and father before The Tests. There was no time for such ridiculous traditions on a day like today and I certainly wasn’t in the mood to eat.

 I ignored his cries of indignation and marched out the door, sure he would report me for insubordination. Failure to perform duties as Head Woman of personal pod... That would be a new one.

 I went to the hill in the meadow behind our pod so I could look out over our community. The orchards, The Shop, the cotton fields with their spiky bushes bursting with softness, and the Field of Yesterday in the distance were all laid out before me, quiet and still in the morning light.

 “Mother... you must have lost your mind before you died. The illness must have taken your mind and your lungs.” I said this to no one who could hear, but more for my own comfort. I was on a fool’s errand, but it was for a fool that I loved.

 Energy surged through my veins. I felt the rush that came so often when I broke the rules, but this time I knew they couldn’t punish me and couldn’t stop me.

 I took three deep breaths. The sun had fully cleared the horizon and the breakfast bell would be ringing shortly. My feet took me back down the hill to the Basic School. There was no more time to worry. It was time to act.