After Lloyd tried to convince me to go to therapy with his girlfriend and I refused, he just gave up and dropped the matter.
God, why do I even try? I'm worthless. Everyone is better off without my pathetic excuse for a life.
I sighed and got up from the bed. It's nine in the morning and Saturday, so I wasn't woken up by my alarm.
I walked to the rectangular mirror hanging on my door, and looked into it.
God, I look disgusting. Pale skin, dark rings under my eyes, messy black hair, day-old eyeliner, and dull green eyes. Overall, I looked ugly.
No wonder Jessica dumped me. And I caught her kissing another dude afterwards. She was cheating on me long before I knew, and I could tell that she was lying when she said, 'Nick, I'm sorry!' (A/N: Haha, references.) Yeah, right.
I took off my shirt and stared at my stomach.
Why did I do that?
It's not like I'll magically lose twenty pounds in a week. I'm not fat, I just want to lose fat. My stomach sticks out too much, and my thighs look too big.
I sucked in my gut, enough to visibly see my ribs. I want to be able to see my ribs without having to suck in my gut.
Scale... where the fuck's my scale? Oh, yeah. Under the bed. I pulled it out and stepped on it.
One hundred and twenty-seven fucking pounds.
What the hell?! How can I still be over one-fifteen? How can I even be over one hundred twenty-five? I didn't eat breakfast or lunch all fucking week!
I pulled my shirt down and shoved the scale back under the bed.
I randomly grabbed a shirt and jeans and headed to the shower. I think I'm going to spend the entire day at that place in the woods. Not like my parents will notice if I'm gone, considering that they're not even up yet.
I walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I turned the shower knob to a tolerable temperature, I took off my clothes, and got in when the water turned warm.
After I was done in the shower, I pulled the curtain back and started to dry off. I put my clothes on, walked out of the bathroom, into my room to get my phone and earbuds, and went to the front door. I put my shoes on, and walked out, putting in the earbuds and blasting music.
When I got to the place, I immediately collapsed onto the fallen tree and slumped over. One of my earbuds fell out, I heard footsteps, and I groaned.
"Lloyd, I swear to fucking God, if you followed me or some shit—"
"Who's Lloyd?" I heard an unfamiliar male voice ask.
I froze. No one ever comes here. This is my place. Lloyd and I are the only ones to ever come here.
I heard the footsteps get closer while my heart beat was increasing.
"Hello?" he asked, but I didn't bother looking at whoever he was.
"You gonna answer my question?" he asked.
"Hi," I mumbled.
"Well, hello to you, too!" he said in a sarcastic voice.
I kept looking at the ground as if it was the most interesting thing ever.
"What's your name?"
I didn't answer.
"Well, okay, then. I'm Johnny. Are you gonna tell me your name, or what?"
"Hey," I muttered.
"Whatcha listenin' to?"
"Pfft, I got that. What artist?"
"Probably something you wouldn't like."
"As long as it isn't any pop bullshit, I'd probably like it."
"Is that a song, or do ya do 'em?"
"Band. Destroy Rebuild Until God Shows."
"Oh. Yeah, you don't seem like the type to do drugs. Band sounds cool, though."
"Thanks, I guess."
"Are you gonna stare at the ground all day, or what?" Johnny asked.
I looked up at him, pushing my hair out of my face, and I honestly wasn't expecting him to look the way he did.
He had blonde hair styled in a 'scene' fashion way, blue eyes, an upper lip piercing, and he was wearing a shirt with a band that I hadn't heard of printed on it.
"Your eyes are very... green," he told me.
"Um, okay? Thanks, I guess?"
"Welcome," he smiled.
I. Am. Done. With. School. For. Eleven. Weeks. :)
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Lock the Doors - MattdockFanfiction
Nicholas Matthews always hides whenever he's feeling scared or vulnerable. His best friend, Lloyd, always knows where he's at. Until one day, someone different finds him. *Trigger warning for low self-esteem thoughts, mention of depression, and anor...