Angelic Sins: Chapter 5

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Chapter 5:

“Do not measure your loss by itself; if you do, it will seem intolerable; but if you will take all human affairs into account you will find that some comfort is to be derived from them.”

-St. Basil

                I’ve gotten so used to being alone. I always feel emptiness. I’ve always been alone, well at least after Sakura I have been. I don’t know how to act in the presence of another woman. Yet, here I am standing above my bed looking at her. The angel. She is hurt and I’m not sure my bandages are helping her any.

                I pace the room, having too many thoughts swirl in my head. I have a beautiful angel in my bed. The one who is causing trouble for all the vampires. She has been torn apart by Sakura. I am ashamed to have let Sakura know of her. I couldn’t control myself around her. I need to do better.

                Memories cloud my mind of the night of passion. Sakura and I had stayed up all that night in the moment of passion. I feel sick now. I remember the face of the woman I raped and murdered that night. It disgusts me, the pleasure of vampires. What is a moment of pure animal lust turns to regret later. At least for me it does. I am different.

                I see her stir in my bed. The covers swirling in black and red as she rolls to her side. She is restless, yet she still sleeps. My hand reaches out to touch her forehead. It is hot, too hot. I know I am cold, but I can still tell what temperature the human body needs to be at.

                In the living room now I can smell dried blood on my carpet. It cannot be seen; it is fortunate that my carpet is red. I reach to the grocery bags on my countertops and empty them. Through all the recent purchased medicine I grab a fever reducer. I open a side door on my fridge and grab a bag of blood from my hospital raid. I feel the cool soothing liquid drench my throat.

                My heart slows as the blood relaxes me. I put the half drunken bag back in the fridge. I look down at the medical book on my counter. There isn’t much that can be done about an unconscious fever without going to a hospital. She cannot be taken to a hospital; the wings can never be explained.

                Back in the room I watch as she tosses and turns. Hopefully the medicine will help. I sit in the rocking chair by the head of the bed and open a book. Shakespeare. I am hoping reading to her will help. I hear it works in comas, but this, I don’t know what this is. I would hate Sakura for this, if I could hate her.

                I hear mumbling as I read and I notice she is awake. She does not move, but she is awake. I feel the need to comfort her as I move my hand towards hers. She attempts to move her hand as it twitches. Her head falls towards me and I can see fear in her eyes. Her freckles glow and she shivers. She seems to relax when she feels my thumb rubbing the top of her hand.

                “How are you feeling?” I ask.

                “Weak,” she says.

                “I have given you medicine, hopefully you’ll heal soon enough,” I say.

                “You saved my life?” she asks.

                “I couldn’t let her kill you,” I say.

                “Why?” she asks.

                I now feel her warm face with my hand. Her blood is running thick now. I can sense the fear in her soul. No matter what I do for her, I am still a vampire. She will never fully trust me. I don’t blame her; vampires cannot be trusted. This is why I left them. I am on my own now, away from as many vampires as I can stand. I can think clearer now.

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