copyright 2017 Chris Smith All rights reserved.
"A smile on your face is all I ask
that you put your troubles behind you along with your mask
for life is too short
and surely it goes too fast."
Dad got an offer from a local woman, Kate, who he knew through the local veteran organizations, to help us with caregiving Mom. Dad trusted Kate, and she was a real life caregiver. It seemed like the perfect fit and what we needed.
Dad and I had been hampered having to always worry about Mom and what's Mom doing and Mom this and Mom that. It was exhausting.
I'd spent months trying to get her to eat and get the fuck out of bed. She put up a good fight, considering she had very little energy because she mostly refused to eat.
I became her daily punching bag. I was a great target and easy pickins'. It was the same scene, on repeat. I was cast in a role that resurrected itself every fucking day. I wanted to kill her and then kill myself for the the sheer pain and insanity of all of it.
No one had any idea what was happening to me the past few months. No knew and one cared. Let's be honest. If they had, they would have taken the time to find out. Everyone had their own battles to fight and their own demons to keep at bay. My Dad, with all his experience and leadership skills, didn't know what to do.
I hadn't been gifted a "This Is What You Do When Your Loved One Is A Bully" life manual to prevent her from walking all over me. My Dad hated bullies. But yet he refused to set boundaries with her and draw lines in the sand to support me.
Every day that passed was another demolishing job on my self confidence, care of Mom. The way it ate away at my spirit and sense of self worth was beyond pain. My own Mother, tearing into me.
I was too sensitive. My heart was too soft and too kind. I felt too much. If other people were born with armor, mine had been stripped off at birth.
Maybe I would have gotten better results if I had asked her to jump off a cliff?
Then at least I could have jumped with her and the torment would be ended for the both of us. Dad would stand at the edge looking over, wondering what the fuck happened.
Well, I'll tell you what happened.
"WE COULDN'T FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE," is what happened.
BIG HUGS & kisses.
Me & Mom.
CARING BRIDGE UPDATE
I'm running around with my hair on fire. I'm getting pulled from so many directions, I honestly don't know whether I'm coming or going.
So I don't have time to do a big update. Things have been crazy. Mom now has a caretaker, Kate, who has been great. We're still organizing on how to deal with having a caretaker, and putting Mom on these new healing therapies have added responsibilities.
Mom saw our Family Doc/Chiropractor/Healer, the Doc, this past week. He picked up issues with her Spleen and Pancreas. Because the Ensure drinks are so loaded with carbs (sugar) they are not helping Mom's Spleen or Pancreas, nor her bowels. We have to be very careful with concentrated sweets and refined sugars.
So as of yesterday, she is no longer drinking any Ensures. The Doc advised us to juice her, and get a lot of "green juices" down her. He said if we do that, any additional food she eats, will be a bonus. Mom's on a juice fast right now...well and some apple...as we get a more substantial program put together for her and her healing.
BIG THANKS TO MY UNCLE & FAMILY for their wonderful gift of a Hurom juicer and Vitamix blender! And thank you to my Cousin Matt for his research on blenders, and pointing us in the direction of the Gerson Therapy! :)
Books we are currently reading:
"Super Immunity" by Joel Fuhrman
(awesome book, takes the ideas presented in the Gerson Therapy to a whole nother level utilizing the latest science..though this book is NOT based on the Gerson Therapy nor does it incorporate Gerson at all). It was recommended to us by our Family Doc/Chiropractor/Healer. I'd recommend this book HIGHLY to anyone dealing with health issues, and/or who wants to improve their health.
"Jesus Calling" by Sarah for inspiration
"A Cancer Therapy" Dr. Max Gerson
"Healing the Gerson Way"
More updates when I have time....I'm assuming that will happen at some point. ha. ha. ha.
Thank you for your support, love, positive thoughts, prayers, gifts, donations, help, etc.
WE APPRECIATE IT!
Blessings to you and yours,
YOU ARE READING
A HARD RUN INTO HELL Book 4 (EDITING) is the juice worth the squeeze seriesNon-Fiction
I was standing in Hell, burning. I looked over to see my Dad, standing right next to me. He was burning too. We had brought my Mom home from the hospital and care facility, after being diagnosed with Stage 3 cancer and decided not to do chemo, ag...