Hi so this is a short story about Zoe and Alfie starting a family. I'd just like to say that this story might be a bit TMI but it's not gory so don't worry :)
Wow I couldn't believe it had been a whole year since me and Alfie got married. He thought we were to young but I knew that he was the only man I could ever of imagined myself with. His proposal was so romantic with roses and a walk on the beach. Although it hadn't been an easy ride since then. We had a 5 bedroom house and we knew one day we would start a family there, a few weeks after we got married we found out I was pregnant it was a shock and unplanned. I cried at first but then the idea of becoming a mum really excited me, after all we always wanted kids why not now? At the 8 week scan we found out it was a mis-miscarriage and the baby had stopped growing and died. The whole process made my anxiety really bad I didn't get out of bed for a week. After the miscarriage my womb had to naturally flush out everything including the baby. After a day or two of bleeding and cramp, I felt something drop in the toilet. It was my baby only the size of a blueberry but I saw it. I screamed and ran away, I broke down in tears to Alfie. I didn't know what to do I couldn't leave it there or flush it? Alfie was Amazing he dealt with the situation and reassured me. the hormones and grieving then kicked in I didn't get dressed in the morning or even get out of bed. I felt so overwhelmingly sad even though my baby was tiny It still felt like my child had a personality and we would never get to see that develop.When everything went back to normal again I was left scarred. I couldn't sleep without waking up in hot sweats after a nightmare, I kept dreaming that one day I went to the toilet and a real newborn baby was there and I flushed it . I really thought we would end up adopting kids because it was so stressful. Then 6 months later After I'd been through counselling me and Alfie decided to try again.
Zoe had just taken the 4th pregnancy test since we decided to try again, it was negative, there was no baby. We tried everything, eating healthy, staying fit ,using apps to track cycles but still nothing. It was really distressing Zoe she desperately wanted kids but I felt helpless how could I do anything? We had even been thinking of trying IVF. We decided to keep trying but if after another 5 months it was still negative we were going to have to do something.