Love of my Life - ON HOLD -

Chapter 15

Scared?

Angry?

Frustrated?

Shocked?

Or was, he just disappointed?

Sebastian stood there against the wall, and slowly slid into a seating position. He crossed his legs, and closed his eyes tight now. A tear went down his cheek, and he silently cried. 

Blaine remembered, what he had saw.. It was the last thing, he thought Sebastian would ever do, but he had done it either way. The thing he had done, was crazy to Blaine. 

Sebastian.. He had been smoking, during gym in the washroom. And worst, he had been smoking with Greg. The bully, who had bullied him before. Although, Greg had stopped ever since he changed his gay look, Greg was still scary, to Blaine. Blaine didn't want Sebastian, to turn into Greg. Into a bully, picking on people who were different in their own ways. Whether it was looks, likes and dislikes, or just sexually.. 

People say, hanging around certain people can change you depending on who it is. And how, they act.

So, this made Blaine more worried. 

But, Blaine would let Sebastian try to explain himself. He might as well, have either way right? Blaine, quietly opened the stall door, slightly surprised to see Sebastian, face buried in his knees crying. Blaine's mouth opened, and he took a seat next to Sebastian. He slowly, put his arm around Sebastian and lightly hugged him. Blaine wasn't into him, at all, but he was Sebastian's friend still. Even if, he had smoked with Greg. Even if, Sebastian turned INTO Greg. Even if.. If Sebastian, began bullying Blaine. Sebastian was his only real friend.. And Blaine, didn't care what happened. He wanted to protect his very best friend. The one had known, for so long.

"Blaine.. I'm so sorry, you had to see me do that.. With him. I really am." Sebastian mumbled, staring at Blaine with teary eyes. 

Blaine smiled sort of, and hugged him. Sebastian buried his face, in Blaine's shoulder and they stayed that way for a while. As, they pulled apart Sebastian began, trying to explain but.. He didn't seem to even understand why he did it..

"It just.. Smoking made me feel good. Made me not feel embarassed about myself. We both have a terrible past, Blaine. You know that. I was under a lot of stress, and pressure. At the least, I didn't go on drugs or get drunk on alcohol. Or both! Look, I'm just sorry. I didn't want to think about, my past.. Ours. Blaine. We both know, we want to get away from it. So.. Do it with me, and enjoy it." Sebastian told Blaine, handing him a cigarette and a light. 

Blaine stared at him, and then took it. Sebastian wiped away the tears from his eyes, and almost instantly he looked at Blaine and raised an eyebrow, and smirked. Blaine gulped and then.. Quickly, lit it. Blaine had done it.. He had smoked a cigarette.. And Sebastian, was amazingly right. It was GREAT. Blaine never knew, he'd be into it. He never even thought about it, because he thought it'd be insane to get into it. But, it made him feel slightly careless, each time he took a whiff of it.

In about a couple days, Sebastian had gotten him into the habit of it. While, Sebastian had just recently quit. In fact, Sebastian hadn't hanged out with Blaine for a long time.

6 monthes at the least. 

This all made, everything so confusing, and stressful. Making him just want more. To get away from the real world, and into his own little fantasy land. At the time, he was still cutting. Lots of cutting.. 

Blaine wasn't just cutting though..

Blaine had become very depressed, and he hated it. He hated himself. He hated EVERYTHING. 

And he never told anybody, no one.. Not his stupid parents, or his drug addicted already, brother. Not his selfish best friend, and definitely not his ugly, retarded, self. He refused, to think about it.

He just did it.

Nothing else, to it.

Blaine eventually, got worse. He drank alcohol, smoked weed, drank while driving, faked his real looks, faked his real self, bullied others, beat up other so called nerds, continued cutting every night, got terrifying grades, ditched classes, almost got a tattoo, and then quickly after that, almost got expelled.. 

His mom had been curious, for a month and got him a therapist. But, that never worked. No one ever, found out. Only Sebastian.. But, Sebastian being the heartless, selfish, piece of crap he is.. He had encouraged him more.

Weeks later, Blaine came to school drunk.. And high. He was walking in the hallways, glaring at every nerd, and shoving people into lockers. Except for his, SO CALLED friends. Jocks. Popular people. Sebastian. All those, kinds of people. 

But, as Blaine walked to his locker. Something not too far away, caught his eye.

A boy with chestnut hair, covering his eyes a bit, blue green eyes, and tan skin. 

Blaine stared at him in slight awe, and examined his clothing a bit..

The boy was wearing, a white collar shirt, with a green sweater over it and a black tie. Beige pants, and red high cut sneakers. 

Blaine, thought about it for a while.

Wow.. He's amazing. Beautiful. Classy. Gorgeous.. What the hell Blaine, don't think that way. You can't go up to him and say that. Your not the gay, ugly, nerdy Blaine anymore. Your the perfectly straight, bad ass, sexy Blaine.. He's your next target Blaine, because if anyone.. If Greg found out, he'd give it away like gossip to the whole world. And their, I'd be back on the Nerds/Geeks list. The unpopulars.. Maybe, lower. I couldn't handle Greg and his pals beating me up again. After Adam, I had decided on this. I hated Adam. Specially, for just watching them doing that to me all the time. I ignored Adam, a while ago.. Maybe, I could just.. Sorta look like I was pretending to be friends with that guy. Even though, I am REALLY friends with him.. And then, no one will find out. And I can just say I'm faking it? Heck no.. I could never talk to that guy. Just treat him like the others, and no one will get hurt.. Except, him.

Blaine snapped out of it, and ran towards the boy. The boy HAD been holding papers and books, but instantly, Blaine smacked them out of his hands, and practically into the guy's face. Blaine froze though, seeing the beautiful blue eyes filling up with tears, and his face going red. As everyone, laughed their heads off in the halls. Blaine was just about to apoligize, but the boy had already ran off. Greg quickly, came up behind him as Blaine got a bit dizzy. Drug effects, he thought. That or, alcohol effects. Greg laughed, and high fived him. Blaine felt so surprisingly, guilty though.

He tried ignoring it the whole day, and found himself.. Still thinking about it, the whole time.

"Excuse me.. Sir? Your holding up the line. What do you want?" The  woman said, loudly and annoyed.