Legend of the White Witch {#Wattys2016}

Chapter 32

What have I done?

Was it not enough to be unable to be with Edlyn? Must I have made her hate me as well?

Though, perhaps it's for the best. If she feels anything for me at all, it's better that she despise me. It will hurt less.

It will hurt less.

I pause, pulling my fingers through my hair. I cover my face with my hands and lean against the castle wall; I'd been pacing the hallways for an hour or more. The servants gave me strange looks, but I barely noticed them. I'm in my own world now. I figured I would leave Celeste and Edlyn alone. Edlyn no longer wants anything to do with me and I'm sure that Celeste won't either once she hears what I've done, what I said. How could I have done that?

I know I didn't do it for her, as much as I try to tell myself that I did. I did it for myself. It was a completely and utterly selfish action. I hurt her to make myself feel better, but now I just feel empty.

I bend my legs at the knee and slide down the rough rock wall to the floor. The sharp parts scrape up my back underneath my shirt and I relish in the pain. I deserve it.

I've lost my family, I couldn't protect my friends, and now I've driven Edlyn away and inflicted great pain upon her. What is wrong with me?

It seems that the only thing I've done right in my life is accepting Celeste's marriage so that she could be happy with Syfi. I didn't see a future for myself, no possible source of happiness like Celeste had found. But now, knowing Edlyn and witnessing her courage and her love for others, I regret even that decision. I never believed that I could love someone with my entire heart, or that simply being close to her would make me so happy, but now...

Now it doesn't matter. It's too late for me. All I can do is go through with the marriage so that my people and the melocris can continue to have peace and make sure that Edlyn forgets about me.

A/N: :( :( :(

But :) because 2 chapter updates in one day!!! Wooooooooooooo. Just wanted to let y'all know how Alec was feeling about what went on between him and Edlyn at the end of the last chapter. :)

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