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"I really am so sorry." Harry looked down at Hermione with sympathy shining through his eyes, but he attempted to put a mask of indifference over his face.
"Would care to explain to me why you've raised your wand at me Harry?" Hermione asked, an amused eyebrow raised but her voice sounded bored.
Before Harry could reply, Ron stepped forward. "Hang on, what are you doing eating with the Ferret?" His eyes widened and looked at Harry, slightly panicked. "It's proof, Harry. She wouldn't be hanging out with Death Eater scum otherwise."
"Now that's just insulting." Draco complained, his face somewhat pinched with discomfort.
"I'm sorry, 'Mione. I'm sure Harry, Ron and the rest of us will be able to find a way to bring you back." Ginny looked at Hermione pityingly.
"Yes, because that sparks so much confidence." Hermione muttered. She shook her head and looked up Harry, her eyebrows furrowed. "What are you going to do to me and why are you doing it?" Harry hesitated, causing Hermione to roll her eyes. "Oh for Morgana's sake, just tell me." Hermione ordered impatiently.
"Well you see Hermione, we realised why you were speaking Parseltongue." Hermione and Draco stiffened, Harry continued to look at his shoes and his eyes started to tear up. "And we're so sorry Hermione, but the truth is you're able to do that because... you're a horcrux. Which means we're going to have to kill you." He lifted his head to see Hermione's face.
Hermione and Draco both blinked once and then burst out laughing. Draco took a sip of his pumpkin juice, but realised too late that that was a mistake as laughing whilst drinking always is. Hermione smacked him on the back a few times, but both of them were still guffawing, with tears streaming down their faces. Harry and the rest of the Weasleys looked very confused.
"I think their reason takes the prize, Hermione!" Draco wheezed out in between laughs. "Their reason is really more ridiculous."
"I agree." Hermione grinned, also still laughing. "Not even I could have thought of that."
"You'd have to have Potty or Weasel logic to get to it."
"Neither of which, we possess... But if you think about it, it's probably the simplest reason."
Draco paused his laughter to think it over, but then he burst out laughing again. "That's probably why only they were able to think of it." That sent them both over the edge again.
"Which one do you think it was? Weasel or Potty?" Hermione asked. "Loser has to do something for the winner." The others raised an eyebrow each, not only at the fact that Hermione was betting, but also because she'd called Harry 'Potty' and Ron 'Weasel'.
"Deal." Draco nodded his head. "I think it was Potty. You?"
"I bet it was Weasel." They both looked at Harry and Ron expectantly. "So?" Hermione asked. Everyone pointed to Harry. Hermione groaned and looked back at Draco. "What do I have to do?" She asked, dread seeping through her words.
"I'll save it for later." Draco smirked.
Hermione looked at Ron. "You disappoint me, Weasel. Who knows what Draco'll have me do now!" Draco started laughing again at Hermione's aghast face, she started join in after a bit, the ridiculousness of the whole situation taking over.
Ginny cleared her throat and looked at the two who were doubled over laughing expectantly. They both attempted to calm down, which they managed to do but the hold on their control was fragile, and wiped the tears from their eyes, their mouths shut tightly in attempt to keep the giggles in.
"So what was so funny about learning you're a horcrux?" Harry asked. "I remember when I found out I was one it-"
"She's not a horcrux, Potty." Draco burst out, followed by a few chuckles.
"Then how would you explain-" Harry started to argue before Hermione cut him off.
"Would you believe me if I told you I was a descendant of the big man himself?"
Understanding dawned on Ron's face. "Gryffindor..." He said confidently, nodding his head smugly.
"What! No, you idiot!" Hermione opened her mouth in disbelief. Draco face-palmed. "Slytherin!"
"Nice going, Weasel." Draco sneered. "You just managed to prove to anyone who doubted, that you truly are the thickest thing in both worlds." Hermione sniggered.
"So we don't need to kill you?" Harry asked, slightly dazed.
"No. You don't need to Avada my arse." Hermione replied, she noticed with hidden glee that Harry winced at her statement. She turned to face Draco. "Draco, shall we doggy bag this food and eat it someplace else? Someplace where people won't try and kill me." She glared slightly at the group standing next to them, shifting on their feet.
"Yep." He got up to pay, whilst Hermione started to summon containers and transfer their food from the plates to the tupperware. "All payed for." Draco announced when he came back.
Hermione turned to the Potters and Weasleys. "Well, it was certainly a laugh seeing you. I'm just glad that this time, you didn't try to spike my drink." And with that Draco and Hermione apparated to her flat.
Draco and Hermione put their plates and food on the coffee table and sprawled themselves out on Hermione's sofas.
"I'm glad I asked you out to lunch today, Riddle." Draco said thoughtfully.
"And why's that?" Hermione asked as she tucked into the remainder of her Fish and Chips.
"Because otherwise I would have never seen and heard the laugh of a lifetime."
Neither of them spoke for a few seconds, before they both burst out laughing again at the thought of what had happened at the Leaky Cauldron.
Another chapter! I decided to give you guys one today because next week my exams are pretty much everyday and I won't have time to update! Sorry @Isobellove!
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Hermione has a secret. She's known it for a while and it's changing her. People have noticed she's not the same person... not since he died... Credits and thanks goes to lemonerd222 for the AMAZING cover!!!