39: I'm not Justin..

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- Justin -

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It was now or never, just like Lily said.

I couldn't even think straight.

When was I going to tell them?

Why was I even asking myself this question?

Ugh..

"Justin, are you okay?" Luke furrowed his eyebrows, as his eyes trained on me.

I nodded, but then shook my head.

Luke chuckled, looking at me weirdly.

"Y-yeah.." I whispered. "I'm fine."

Jennie shrieked, gasping. "OW ASHTON DAMMIT"

They were currently taking turns on punching each other's knuckles on the couch, for no apparent reason, really..

Ugh, again when can I ever get a relationship that cute?

NEVER.

"Sorry babe!" Ashton pouted, taking her hands in his and leaving kisses on her knuckles.

Deciding on opening up twitter and tweeting, I sighed.

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@JulieStyles96: Dorm room stuff :)

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To admit, I was excited to start college, so that's why I tweeted that.

But after tonight.. I don't think I'm going to get the money at all, nor am I gonna go to college.

But once again.. I cared about those boys.

And I cared enough to tell them the truth.

"Justin." I find Harry sticking his head at the door.

I looked up. "Uhh sup?"

"Could I talk to you?"

I nodded once, getting up and walking out of the dressing room.

As I closed the door behind me, he immediately sighed.

"Lily told me.. What you're gonna attempt to do tonight."

"Yep. I'm gonna stop this once and for all.'' I shrugged, adjusting my tee shirt.

I looked almost careless as I said it, but I couldn't do anything else BUT care. Why was I such a nice person?

Ugh oh who am I even kidding..

"But about the money.."

"I know, it all plays fair. I tell the truth, I don't get the money." I cut him off, both sad and pissed at the same time.

That definitely was not a good mix of emotion.

"You'd sacrifice..You're college tuition for them?"

"Harry, what was the point of all of this anyway? So you could make me look like a complete idiot?"

"It was a dare okay?! A stupid fucking dare. What, you think we all planned to ruin your life like this? No we didn't Julie." He spat, me biting my lip.

Tears brimmed my eyes as I blinked them away quickly. I hated this. I hated feeing so weak and vulnerable.

"I'm in love with Luke, Harry." I whispered, closing my eyes.

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