I can't fucking believe James. Who does he think he is? Just because he was a guard doesn't mean that he can talk down to me, especially not like he did. And to act like he had some claim over Rose, like he could tell me what and what not to do when it came to her, was infuriating. Just because they went on one date didn't mean he owned her. But it wasn't just what he said that bothered me. It was the fact that he acted so innocent and gallant when he was really just a coward. He had Rose fooled, but I knew better. And I knew that my suspicions didn't provide as much evidence as I would've liked, but something was off.
Even if he didn't kill anybody, he was up to something. I was sure of it. My certainty that he was the murderer was slowly dwindling down, though. Rose had been right, I didn't have any evidence of his crimes. I just hated him. James was only one of the many possibilities. It could be an employee on a different floor. It could be someone we are completely overlooking . . .
But James still bothered me to no end, murderer or not.
He was just one more irritation added to the list of reasons why I hate it here. I had to get out of Wickendale, I knew that. I couldn't stay here for the rest of my life. I would find a way out, eventually. I needed to. But for the time being I would just have to put up with it. I would have to endure all the horrors encased in this building: the guards, the shitty food, the dirt and dust, the annoying therapists. And who knows, I might even have to be put through electroshock therapy or get whipped or something; I mean I had already gone to solitary confinement.
But until I found a way to break out of here, I had to remain as I was. I had to stay the man I'd been when I arrived, the man who skins women; or else I would surely break. I had to stay the most dangerous patient in this ward.
Wickendale was hell; and I had to be the devil.
I made my way back towards the cafeteria with my heart thumping in my chest like a hammer against my ribcage. I can't believe I had been weak and subjected to Harry's strength. Nobody can say Harry doesn't scare them, but I thought I would be able to hold my own. I guess not seeing that I was trembling with fear. He was frighteningly strong and had anger that you could almost feel rolling off of him in dangerous waves.
But what I said was a little uncalled for and I can see why Harry hates me. I was just worried about Rose, and I wanted Harry to stay away from her. He was dangerous and I didn't want anything bad to happen. He may think Rose is being naive to trust me, but he hadn't been there for most of our conversations. He hadn't been there on our walks home from work where talks are filled with her beautiful laugh and warming smile. He wasn't there when we went out to dinner and shared embarrassing date stories while laughing like idiots over delicious food.
And I didn't want him to intervene, especially not in a negative way. But I couldn't help it if they talked, that was Rose's choice, not mine. So for now I would just have to keep an eye on Harry to make sure he didn't do anything to harm her, or anyone for that matter.
But even if he did act out, I had a bad feeling that I wouldn't be able to stop him if I tried.
I walked through the doors of Wickendale the next morning with one goal in mind; to get a day off. I was working 12 hour days 5 days a week to save up for a car and better apartment, but it was more than I needed. I know I had weekends, but those seem all too short, going by in a blink of an eye. It was barely enough relief from this hectic and sometimes unnerving institution and an extra day off would be invigorating.
But the thought of having to talk to Ms. Hellman made me nervous. After she had lied about Cynthia I was apprehensive to see her whatsoever. She wasn't a good person, I knew that much. For some reason she was keeping secrets even from the employees which was never a good sign. The only other person that might know what she desperately wanted hidden was Thomas.
But I really wanted a day off, and it's not like asking for one could do any harm. So I approached her office early, about ten minutes before my shift started. I pushed open the door to reveal Ms. Hellman sitting at her desk behind it, catching the end of her conversation she was having on the telephone.
"No, I don't want any reporters here. You can tell her to find a different institution because I am not going to let her in Wickendale, and that's final."
The person on the other line spoke, but I couldn't make out what they were saying.
"Alright, I'm glad we could come to an agreement. Goodbye," Ms. Hellman said before hanging up the phone. Her eyes returned back to the document on the desk in front of her, not taking notice of my entrance.
I made my way into the office and she finally noticed my footsteps, glancing up from her work.
"May I help you, Rose?" she asked.
I nodded. "Yes. I was wondering if maybe I could have a day off? I've been working a lot lately and I was hoping to get one next week."
Her eyes turned back to her paperwork, seeming almost bored with the conversation. It was a polar opposite to the way Harry looked at you, giving you his utmost attention as if you're words were the most important in the world. His jade eyes were always attentive and focused, especially when they were trained on whoever was speaking.
"What's the occasion?" She finally asked, her tone indifferent.
I tried to think of an excuse, my mind searching for any sensible reason. But then I finally realized that there was indeed an event that was of some importance. Next week was my birthday; I had almost completely forgotten. "I'm turning twenty-one."
"Happy birthday," she told me in a bland tone, not even the smallest of smiles forming on her lips. I thanked her in response and then waited while she thought it over. "I don't know, Rose," she finally answered. "I've let a lot of people take vacations lately and I'm not sure if we can afford to let anyone else take time off. We're getting pretty packed with new patients and we're gonna need your extra help." She said. "What with James gone for a whole week at the beginning of August and-"
"Why was James gone for a whole week?" I asked before I could stop myself.
"He had a big trip planned for his birthday, went to America with his friends or something of the sort," she said. "But he had let me know a month in advance rather than a week," she told me, and even though she was sitting she seemed to be looking down on me.
August had been almost two months ago, around the time Harry arrived. I calmed down a bit, knowing that I hadn't been oblivious if James' birthday had been recent. It was before we knew each other that well, so I didn't feel as bad for not acknowledging it.
But there was something else about the beginning of August that stuck out. I felt like the date held some importance, but I couldn't remember why.
So I just shrugged off the thought, turning my attention back to my boss. "It's fine, sorry for interrupting your work." I said before turning around to exit her office. She didn't say another word as I left, and it kind of pissed me off. She really couldn't have let me have a day off for my birthday? Really?
I guess it didn't matter, though. I had bigger problems to worry about. And its not like being mad would get anything done, anyway. So instead of going back and demanding a break from this madness, which is what I wanted to do, I walked to Lori's office to start the day.
She greeted me with a smile as we made small talk until my shift officially started. Lori was always so kind, and I'm thankful every day that I get to work with someone like her rather than be Ms. Hellman's assistant.
I retrieved supplies and helped repair people's broken bodies, going through the usual motions of the day. The clock ticked on and I counted the seconds until I had a break from bandaging self-inflicted wounds and giving medication for headaches.
And for me a break was going to see Harry. It technically wasn't a break, my real lunchtime was after his, but it always felt like an escape. He was so different from anybody I'd ever met. His whole presence seemed to be alive with an electricity that made him impossible to describe but impossible to forget. Whether he killed people or not didn't change the grip he had on anybody he chose to lure into his darkness, and I knew that I was one of those people. I mean here I was thinking about him now when I should be focused on my work.
But I didn't have to work for much longer as I was released to go to the cafeteria. Finally.
I walked through the corridors and down a few hallways to reach it, stepping through the doors of the large room. My eyes instantly found our table, but before I could go any further I felt a light hand touch my arm. I whirled around and saw James at his guarding position behind me, a small grin on his face. "Hey."
"Hi," I greeted.
"Um, I was just wondering . . . I mean we had so much fun last time, so I uh, I wanted to know if you would wanna go out with me again?" He asked.
I was slightly taken back by his question, though I wasn't sure why. I guess for some reason I hadn't expected him to ask me out again.
"Where would we go?" I wondered.
"Maybe the fair Saturday," he said, the suggestion sounding more like a question.
I was apprehensive to say yes right away, Harry's voice present in my mind warning me to be careful. Even though I doubted James would harm a fly, it was better to be cautious than wind up dead. I didn't want to become one of those bodies -
The bodies! That's what was familiar about the beginning of August. It clicked now, I had remembered Kelsey telling me about it. She said that the beginning of August is when the bodies in the basement were predicted to have been killed. Forensic scientist came in and ran tests, coming to the conclusion that the time of death was around August 3rd. James couldn't have been the murderer, he was out of town that whole week. I was relieved with this newfound information, the idea of going to the fair with him a lot more appealing now.
"Of course I'll go," I smiled.
"Cool." He grinned.
"Cool," I replied, happy that I wouldn't have to worry about James like Harry thought. Maybe after I tell him he wont act like he wants to murder James anymore. Speaking of Harry, where was he?
I turned my head and almost jumped, Harry's presence surprising me. He had been not even a few yards away, seeming as if he had just walked in. Or at least thats what I hoped.
But looking at him now, his fist and jaw clenched and his eyebrows coming together in anger I could tell he had heard our whole conversation; and he was not happy.
Hiiiii sorry about the chapter mix up, its all fixed now haha. I first of all wanted to say that im sorry this chapter wasnt that good compared to the rest and it was a bit shorter too but I had such a busy week and i had to write it quickly to give you guys an update :) but I will make up for it I promise. I have BIG things planned for this fanfiction so keep reading and please vote! Also thank you so much for your amazing comments and messages, they make my day :D
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Psychotic (A Harry Styles Fanfiction)Fanfiction
"I loved her not for the way she danced with my angels, but for the way the sound of her name could silence my demons." - Christopher Poindexter