Down on my Luck

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"Is there any room left in your heart for me ....."

Nurse Heaven POV

"Everybody's rushing you to wake up but I say take your time babygirl take ya time and heal those wounds and fight those demons , clear your mind and when you wake up everybody will be here waiting for you , I'll be here I promise"

The monitor started to beep real loud , I rushed out to get the doctor quick ..... I knew it I knew she was still in there somewhere

Keep fighting baby keep fighting

Dee dee POV

"What the Hell wrong with you"bell came in and sat beside me I just handed her my phone so she can see

I feel so sorry for myself for thinking someone like him could be into a girl like me , I was heartbroken but I was tired I didn't have anymore tears to shed I'm literally tired of crying

I should have known it was too good to be true I mean even tho We were never intimate I mean never I thought he did like me shit we spend almost everyday together I'm still confused about how he found time to marry this girl , she looks very familiar also but still who is this bitch ! If you wanna marry her why you was spending all your time with me , cuddling up with me , going out with me , calling me all them bull shit ass pet names he probably was calling her

Shit we mine as well should of been boyfriend and girlfriend by the way we treat each other. I know he knew I like him shit I ain't have to tell him and for some odd reason I felt like he felt the same way I did ... But I guess I was wrong

I can't Fuck with him after this , the nigga even made me pick out the ring and necklace ! That's fucked up. You can't treat somebody like that get them all in their feelings and do em like that , if I would have known I would end up feeling like this I should have stayed with ace cause this is the same kinda shit he did

If we So close why haven't I ever hear him mention this girl ? I'm confused and something tells me he knew exactly what the Fuck he was doing

"Are you fucking kidding me !"bell yelled "he got life fucked up"

"I'm hurt , but I'm not gon cry about it , I ain't got no tears left"

"Don't you dare sit over there and feel sorry for yaself , feel sorry for his yellow ass for not realizing what he had right in front of his face"

"I'm starting to feel like it's me , why can't nobody love me everybody around me got somebody who loves them I mean G would go to the ends of this earth for Sanii then you got keem and he treats you like a princess. I did everything I was suppose to do , went to school , got a good ass job , got my own , I wasn't out here hoein or none of that shit........... Its clear as day I'm just not good enough"

"Well if you feel that way , maybe you ain't good enough then"

I snapped my head in her direction

"What?!"

"You heard what I said Dee dee, you sitting over there doubting yaself over some lame ass niggas shit why should I think highly of you when you ont even think highly of yourself?! , love don't come easy Bitch it felt like it took me years to find keem , but you know what he came unexpected when I wasn't even looking I was to busy loving myself to be even thinking about loving someone else , self love comes first baby girl , you can't love someone else if you can't love yourself ... I wasn't loving myself at first I was looking for someone to love me I was down and out -- insurcure , but once I start loving myself keem came around and he swept me off my feet"

I understand what she was saying totally but I wasn't tryna hear that shit ..... All my life things have happened to me to the point as of right now iont even wanna live no more , Sanii thinks I came around and helped her but in reality she helped me and she don't even know it and now that she's not here I don't even wanna be here no more

I grabbed my phone and walked away

"You only walking away cause I'm being truthful , you gotta love your fucking self or nobody will ! I'm not gonna baby you and sugar coat shit ima be real ! Love yourself Deemani cause in the end your All that matters!"she yelled after me

Once I got inside my room I slammed the door and layed across my bed , thinking about all the things that happened to me and why did I deserve it , why couldn't my parents love me , why I couldn't be good enough? I was snapped out of my thoughts when my phone started ringing I picked it up without even looking and I regret that I did

"I put ya ass salty for leaving me now ain't you"

"Ace leave me alone stop calling"

"You swore that you and slim was gon run into the sunset together , my Nigga getting married now. Dee you are worthless don't nobody want you they never will"

"Shut the Fuck up your just mad cause I left you"tears started to pour down my face and my voice cracked

He started to laugh and I got even more humiliated

"Your trash that's why everybody treats you like trash , have a nice life Bitch"

I heard the the dial tone and threw my phone against the wall watching it shatter , the tears wouldn't stop the pain wouldn't stop I began to trash my whole room throwing and breaking shit
Out of breath I slid to the ground I couldn't take this pain no more I scanned the room and saw a bottle of pills ......

This is what it had to come to, the pain I'm feeling is unbearable Lord forgive me for all my sins and what I'm about to do I'm in pain and no more want to feel

Please have mercy on my soul

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What you think happened ?

Will Sanii ever wake up ?

Why you think dee has these type of issues within her self why can't she see she's more and than some ?

Do you think slim was really leading her on ?

Do you think ace love her ? Of not what is it ?

Should ace words should have taken Dee over the edge like that ?

What you would like to see in this story ?

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