When I was 7 I remember my mothers best friend going to jail and my mother having to look after her three kids Mathew the oldest one 13, Cassie 12 and Bj 9.My twin brother and I shared a room and in the mornings he would always be up earlier then me to go play nintendo out in the lounge room with my oldest brother 13 and all the other kids. One morning I just came out of the toilet and went back into my room because I was going back to sleep I climbed up onto the top of my bunk bed and was just dozing when I heard the door shut and lock I only thought it was my brother so I just stayed where I was I heard foot steps moving across the carpet and then someone lifting me up I turned my head to see Mathew he layed me gently on the floor and layed down beside me stroking my hair when I was about to ask what he was doing he covered my hand lightly
''shhhhshhh baby dont talk its alright Matty will make everything all better''He said to me I felt him reach down and tug on my pants slightly I went to move away he held me down with just a little bit of presure ''Its okay lil bit just hold still you will be fine'' he said to me still petting my hair as he pulled my pants down and off my legs.
I was scared it was the first time anyone has ever taken my pants off and I did not know what he was going to do. I remember him taking off his pants as he rubbed me between the legs he got on top of me and put his thing on my private and just moved up and down on me he never once entered me or went anywere near their just dry humped when he was finished he kissed me on the lips pulled mypants back up and tucked me back into bed as I began to cry later that day I went down stairs to tell my mother she never belived me she yelled at me called me names and said I was a liar she ignored me for a while after that not talking to me unless she really had to. That went on for years still never once entering me just dry humping. over the years I grew to know what it meant and I tried over and over to get him off me but he never listened.
It happened again when I was 12 mum had a boyfriend that got out of jail 6 months before it happened he was nice at first but then when all my brothers had to got to my mothers friends place so she could go to the hospital 3 hours from where they were staying to give birth to my little brother I decided to go with my mother and Justin her boyfriend she went in the hospital to have a C section and when she got out of hospital the baby had to stay because it was two months premiture my mother stayed in bed most of the time because she was tired.
I was sleeping one night after Justin gave me a couple cans of bundaberg rum and coke I was laying in bed asleep when I heard my door creak open and my blankets moving the bed dipped and I felt someone touching me I turned my head a little to find Justin I told him to go back to his bed mum would be wondering where he was he didnt listen he touch me a little and and when he got bored he went back into his room again. after a few months he got bored of touching and he raped me it hurt me so much it felt like I was being stabbed over and over again I could not sit for a week without terrible pain.
It happened for 7 months after that and again I told my mother and once again she never belived me that night I cried myself to sleep thinking of all the names my mother called me my own flesh and blood didnt belive me only belives what that drug addict convict says I always tried to avoid him as much as I could after that they broke up when I was 15.
Now 16 turning 17 I was 3 hours away from home visiting my 17 year old boyfriend Steven he lived with his friends family. one night when I was visiting my boyfriend I broke up with him because I found an inapropriate txt to his ex girlfriend so we were only sort of friends at the time we were always sitting in his friend Brads room all night and we slept during the day the night I broke up with Steven we were in Brads room and I was really tired so I fell asleep on Brads bed I was laying in the middle and Steven and Brad on either side of me I woke up a little after I fellasleep and saw my boyfriend past out my arm was getting a cramp in it because it was behind my back as I was on my side my arm in the direction of Brad.
I went back to sleep and a little while later I was in a state of consiosness and unconsisness when I felt my boyfriend kiss me on the forehead and told Brad he was going to bed after the door was shut I felt Brad poke me and call my name after no answer he grabbed my hand that was behind my back and slowly moved it it was only then that I felt it go into his pants he wrapped my hand around his shaft and he wrapped his hand around mine and started jacking himself off after that I dozed back off again and had a nightmare like I do almost every night about my ex boyfriend Drew that beat me and did terrible things to me from when I was 13 to 15 I move around alot when I have my nightmares and I woke up from a sharp pain in my hand I thought it was kind of weird that I was laying on Brad and he had a hard on but still paid no attention because I am still thinking of my stinging hand I got off Brad and said I was sorry for rolling on him and looked down at my hand to find it bleeding.
Brad has a whole lot of knife collections that he leaveslaying around in his room turns out I lent on it as I was asleep I whiped off the blood and crawled to the end of the bed and went back to sleep again I felt like I was being shifted in my sleep and then a nice sensation started inbetween my legs after a while it stopped and when I woke up inbetween my legs was socked which was getting even more scary for me I didnt really have time to think because Brad grabbed me and started hugging me he is always a cuddly guy with me when I fully woke up and put all the pieces together I started freaking out pushing myself away from him but he just held me tighter asking me what was wrong.
I never listened I just wanted away from him it was not a dream it was real and I wanted to get away I finally gave up on trying to push myself away and just hit him in the face ran out of his room as quick as I could and into the bathroom to scrub my hands and ran into Stevens room to cuddle him and cry I told Steven about that a few days after I left because I felt like it was my fault it happened to me and I didnt want to see his face when I told him he went crazy and got kicked out of their house now he lives in the same town I do and we are back together.
