Chapter 9: I Think That Being Sweet Is An Unwritten Rule Of Being A Bad Boy
I was the one who ended the kiss.
As soon as I pulled myself away from him, I was already catching my breath like I just ran a marathon.
Soon after, a whirl of thoughts has already clouded my mind, affecting my senses in a way that was entirely different. If it was from the kiss, I wouldn't know.
I was still having a hard time thinking straight because my mind was still dizzy and numb. I didn't even notice that Chase has already gone back to his seat, completely casual and unaware of the effect he's brought upon me.
It was like he didn't just steal my first kiss.
Such a jerk, really.
Just like every other girl, I also dreamt of having my very own magical moment. I've never had a boyfriend before so obviously, I haven't really kissed anyone yet. I was still waiting for someone special, someone who I would share that moment with.
But seeing as these plans have obviously crashed and burned; my silly little illusions had vanished along with them. There were no more I-want-my-first-kiss-to-happen-by-the-beach-and-under-the-moonlight pipe dreams and all that because basically, Chase – world's most arrogant asshole – Hayden and a stupid game of Truth or Dare just ruined that.
I know it was just a game and I was somewhat lucky I got involved in one of the least challenging parts of it but still, I couldn't help but feel a little pang of remorse and dread about losing something that I've been keeping and saving through the years.
It was simply frustrating.
Or maybe I'm just being a little dramatic, I don't know.
I felt eyes on me which made me snap out of my daze. I looked around to see people's curious and baffled expressions, probably confused by my reaction. My eyes landed on Chase who gave me an annoying smirk which instantly irritated me to the extent that I wanted to shove his head inside a toilet bowl. I realized I was breathing roughly so I quickly pushed myself down to sit, only to find Zach's hands immediately squeezing my shoulders in a soothing manner.
Great. I almost forgot he was here.
"You okay?" he asked, concern laced in his tone. He was occasionally shifting his stare at me and Chase, pointedly glaring at the latter whenever his eyes landed on him. It was like he shared what I felt – he sympathized with me, and I was somewhat glad and grateful for that.
I nodded. "Yeah, thanks for asking," I answered, trying to keep my voice calm and collected in every way. He seriously need not know how much I was trembling inside.
Adam cleared his throat, getting our attention. "So yeah, back to the game?"
The rest muttered approvingly in unison cueing the game to carry on. No matter how I tried, I just couldn't will myself to participate in the next rounds. I was too distracted - my mind still on the kiss I shared with Chase.
To be completely honest, I did like it. He was very good, I must say. He knew very well how to make an inexperienced person (like me) respond to his hungry lips.
That's what made it worse. I responded.
I'm such a hypocrite, I know. I was a part of that kiss giving me no right to mope and sulk- that's just plain bullshit.
I know that in some point, I clearly wanted it. I liked – if not loved – the way his lips felt on mine. The way he kissed me gently, the way he made me feel special within that one brief moment. The feeling was inexplicably amazing, but I was too stubborn to admit that. Even to myself.