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((Heads up, a lotta plot coming at ya. There will be smut, but...I wanted to make an atmosphere.))

((Oh, uh, trigger warning, I guess.))
Mark came home smelling like cigarettes and perfume. Looking around, he saw empty beer cans scattered about the living room and kitchen, small puddles of the remnants of the alcohol soaking into the ground. He sat down silently at the dinner table, his hair in a tangle and his eyes glazed. He glanced up to see his husband sitting across from him, glaring icily at him.
"You're late." Jack said simply.
"I know. I'm sorry." Mark apologized, staring blankly at the ground.
"Four hours."
"I'm sorry."
"Where did you go?"
"I had something to take care of."
"Where. Did. You. Go."
"Goddamnit, answer me."
"...the bar."
The room went dead silent. Mark glanced up again, to see Jack trembling.
" left with someone."
"HOW COULD YOU DO THAT!" Jack shouted angrily, standing up abruptly and slamming his hands down on the table. Mark flinched.
"I'm sorr-"
"Shut the FUCK up!" Jack snarled, his eyes brimming with tears and his fingers clenched into a fist.
"Jack, I-" Mark reached out to him, only to have his hand smacked away.
"NO! I don't want to hear your fucking EXCUSES! This isn't the first time you've pulled this on me and thought you'd gotten away with it. SIX TIMES during this past MONTH! What the FUCK is wrong with you?!"
"Th-the neighbors are going to hear-"
"GOOD! Everyone gets to know what a HORRIBLE PERSON you are!" Jack shouted, tears streaming down his cheeks and his body shuddering.
"What the HELL! You...what, am I not GOOD ENOUGH or something? You've gotta bang a goddamn SLUT to feel good about yourself, huh? Is that it? Is that FUCKING IT?!" His voice cracked, and his legs wobbled.
"Jack, I-I never meant..."
"NO. You knew what you were doing. You can't drink. You did this of your own volition. On purpose. You went out to that bar to get laid and break my heart, and congratulations, you did both."
"What I want to know is why."
"Why you did this. Why you felt like you needed to. I thought I was enough. I thought you loved me. Obviously, I was fucking wrong. But please. Tell me why."
"...I don't know." And truly, he didn't.
"That can't be all of the answer."
"...I really...don't know...just...because." Maybe he'd been bored. Maybe he'd just wanted some variety. The lady he'd slept with had been beautiful.
"Congrats, honey." The term was spat out like poison on Jack's lips.
"You've destroyed this relationship just because." Mark winced.
"Jack..." He started, but didn't know how to really reply.
A wave of dizziness washed over Jack, and his stumbled back from the table. Tripping over his own feet, he dropped to the floor
Jack slumped to the floor and started sobbing.
Mark got out of his chair, kneeling down to meet him. He wasn't quite sure why. He had seen this coming, the day where Jack inevitably called him out. He'd played it over and over in his head. He'd always planned to just leave when Jack broke down. It's not like Mark, the said adulterer, would be able to offer comfort from his own sin. But something drew Mark to want to stay.
Maybe it was the fact that he still loved Jack. Maybe he felt guilty.
Maybe he just hated seeing people cry.
He knelt down, reaching out to Jack again. His husband lashed out and struck him across the face. Mark looked furious for a second, prepared to hit back, when he saw Jack's face turn into an expression of horror and guilt. His eyes softening, he pulled Jack gently towards him, holding him tentatively. Fueled by an angry instinct, Jack raised his hand to hit again, and Mark braced himself. He could never bring himself to hit Jack. Any punishment coming to him he most likely deserved.
Instead, he felt Jack's hand fall listlessly against his cheek, fingers brushing gently as it slid downwards to finally grip at his shirt. Jack buried his face in his husband's chest, crying quietly. Mark held him carefully, like he was made of glass. At the time, he probably was. He was shaking like a leaf in a tornado, letting out little whimpers and sniffles and gripping tightly onto Mark's shirt like it was a lifeline.
He hated this. The fact that he was so weak he turned to his husband for comfort, when he was the one who'd hurt him the most. The fact that he couldn't have just been angry, he had to feel sad, and worthless, and stupid too. His chest hurt, like someone had run him through the heart.
Mark wanted to leave. To get up and go. But he couldn't. Not when Jack was clinging to him desperately, not when he was crying like that. But Mark was the reason for his tears. And that's why he wanted to leave. He didn't want to be reminded of his crimes, of his bad deeds.
It must have been an hour before the tears stopped.
"Mark." Jack sniffed, looking up at the older man.
"Do you really love me?"
"Of course."
"I really wish...I could believe you."
Mark felt a tug at his heart, holding Jack tightly. He kissed him softly on the lips, barely connecting. Then he kissed him again. And again. And again. Jack's lips tasted like beer, Mark's like cherry lipstick. Running his hands through Jack's vibrant green hair, tracing figure eights on his back as his lover kissed back hungrily. He bit down ever so slightly on Jack's bottom lip, causing him to gasp in surprise. Mark took the opportunity to slip his tongue inside, and Jack let out a hushed moan.
There was a moment of quiet kissing, Jack's eyes shut tight and Mark's hands roaming across his chest and neck. When they broke for air, a small, sad smile spread across Jack's face.
"I know you're going to leave me. more night? For old time's sake?" He laughed bitterly, and Mark nodded.
Holding his hand hesitantly, Jack led Mark up to the bedroom. He shut the door behind them, continuing to kiss Mark with a sense of scared urgency. Mark fell back onto the bed, Jack straddling him. Mark's hands immediately went to Jack's waist, and he rolled his hips upwards.
"M-Mark." Jack grunted, biting his lip. A faint smile played along the edges of Mark's lips.
"Take off your shirt." He commanded in his deep velvet voice, and Jack obeyed hurriedly. He cast the shirt aside, shivering when Mark's hands ghosted over his exposed skin. Leaning up, the red-haired man placed gentle kisses on Jack's chest and neck, careful not to leave any hickeys.
Jack let out quiet mewls and whimpers as Mark worshipped his body, feeling his face grow hot.
"Y-your turn." He ordered, and Mark slipped off his own shirt. Jack gazed in awe of his muscles and tan, and Mark smiled embarrassedly.
"Heh. You're one beautiful man, that's for sure." Jack chuckled, his fingers daintily tracing the muscles. He bent down and started nipping and licking at Mark's chest, causing him to blush brightly.
He bucked his hips up unintentionally when Jack kissed his nipple, causing both men to moan in arousal. Jack's breathing became quicker as he reached down to unbutton Mark's jeans. He pressed down gently on Mark's erection through his boxers, causing him to shudder. Jack smiled, continuing to tease Mark as he started to slide off his own pants.
"F-fuck." Mark mumbled, biting his lower lip. Unable to wait anymore, he shoved Jack's hand away and kicked off his boxers. They landed on Jack's head, and he snorted in laughter. Shaking them off his head, he stripped completely so both men were totally naked.
They went back to kissing, Jack grinding down on Mark's cock every now and then. Impatiently, Mark flipped them over, so he was on top. His eyes pleaded for the go-ahead. Jack nodded, and Mark pushed two fingers up Jack's ass.
Jack's eyes widened and he bit his thumb, feeling a rush of pleasure course through him. Mark crooked his fingers as he pulled them out, making Jack see stars. He had a death grip on Mark's back, leaving crescent imprints from his fingernails.
"M-Mark, please hurry." He begged, and Mark added a third finger. Jack let out a throaty shout when Mark brushed against his prostate, panting heavily with his eyes half-lidded and rolled back into his head.
Mark pulled his fingers out, gently placing his dick flush to Jack's asshole. He brushed the green hair out of his husband's face carefully.
"I'm going to put it in now. Is that okay?" He asked softly. Jack nodded hurriedly, practically begging.
"Yes, it's f-fine, please..." He whimpered, and Mark couldn't help a small smirk. Pushing inside gently, he grunted at the tightness of Jack. He could feel Jack's fingers clutch his back desperately.
He started moving in and out slowly, savoring the noises he was hearing from Jack.
"Oh, God, Seán, you feel amazing..." Mark praised. At the sound of his real name falling from his husband's lips, Jack did everything he could to keep from coming immediately.
"M-Mark!" He called, throwing his head back as he felt him hit his prostate.
"Seán...I love you...I love you so fucking much..." Mark muttered, his words coming out slurred. He was close, trying to hold on so Jack could come first.
It didn't take much. Three hits to his prostate later, Jack burst into mumbling a litany of curse words mingled with Mark's name as his release splattered all over himself and Mark. He followed suit, grinding his teeth and grunting as he came inside of Jack. Pulling out quickly, he felt sweat beading his forehead and saw Jack barely able to keep his eyes open. Mark stumbled to the bathroom, grabbing a rag and dampening it with warm water. He returned to Jack, gently dabbing at his chest and stomach and wiping away the come. Then he wiped the bits that had gotten on himself, before tossing the rag in the general direction of the laundry bin.
He started to head towards his boxers and jeans, preparing to leave. He didn't want to be that kind of guy, but...he figured Jack would be better off if Mark wasn't there in the morning. He was stopped by a pale hand grabbing his arm. He looked back to see Jack looking at him, already half-asleep.
"Don't...go..." He pleaded, tugging weakly on Mark's arm.
"Jack, I-"
"Don't...leave me. I still...still" He mumbled drunkenly.
"I love you too, Seán." Mark replied quietly.
"Mmkay. Good. Then...don't leave me." Jack's grip loosened, and his hand fell down to dangle over the edge of the bed. His eyes had closed fully, and his breathing was deep and even. Mark could leave now and Jack would never notice. He doubted he'd even remember what had happened, given all the beer he'd had.
But something made him stay.
Jack woke up with a debilitating headache, sore legs, and an urgent need to throw up. He stumbled to the toilet, puking his guts out. He'd need some painkiller or he wouldn't be a able to hardly think.
After lying on the bathroom floor in pain for a few minutes, Jack pulled himself together to wonder where Mark had gone off to. Slipping into some boxer shorts, he stepped down the stairs with wobbly legs.
Mark was nowhere to be found. But he did find a letter on the dining room table. He read it silently, tears filling his eyes.
Dear Seán,
I love you. More than anything in this world. I have loved you for a long time now. And I'll love you for a long time yet. I love you, and nothing can change that. But at the same time...I've been the worst husband ever. I took you for granted, and didn't stay loyal. I don't deserve someone like you, so constant and loving. I still love you. But I cannot stay with you. I don't have the right to, after what I've done. I cannot expect you to love me like you have been after I have failed to love you like I should. I... guess it's hard to explain. But I just can't stay here, I don't deserve to. I hope you find someone much better than me. I love you so, so, much.
Sincerely, Mark
P.S. Please don't try to find me. I know you will, and I'm asking you not to. Please. For my sake.
He might need a lot more painkiller.
--------------------3 weeks later-------------------
"Famous YouTuber Seán McLoughlin, otherwise known as Jacksepticeye, has been found dead in his home. Doctors suspect it was suicide due to an over-the-counter drug overdose. He was found holding his wedding ring and a note from his presumed husband at death. Police are currently trying to locate the husband, but his whereabouts are unknown. Something important to note, however, is that written on the back of the letter, in what investigators know to be Seán's own handwriting, are the words "I love you, too". We can only assume this means that the husband was in some way directly or indirectly involved with the sui--blip!" Mark turned off the TV, his tired eyes filled with tears that spilled over onto his cheeks. He thought...he thought that by leaving, he could help Jack.
"Looks like that fucking backfired." He snorted. Glancing down at the gun in his hand, he sighed. Nobody would find his body. But...that didn't really matter to him. At least he'd be with Jack again.
"Sorry, family." He mumbled.
"I deserve this, anyways. Whatever's coming to me. I've killed him. I might as well have put the pills in his mouth and made him swallow." He put the gun in his mouth, a sad smile on his face.
'Why should I deserve to live, when I killed him?' He thought as he pulled the trigger and the world went black.

A/N: it's been fun! Just kidding, I tore my own heart apart creating this piece, but, whatevs. It's cool. Thanks for sticking with me so far!
Love, Shredderpen

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