"You battered his car!" Sharon gasped.
"Well I thought it was his car but then some woman came running out and it was obviously hers," I explained with a shrug.
"Oh my god," she howled laughing and I had to join in. "I have to phone Jase and get the gossip!" she rushed off to make the call. I had to admit I was keen to know myself so hoped she didn't take too long.
One nervous wee later due to two drinks as her ice was melting and I didn't want to waste it... she finally came back. She had her 'best gossip ever' face on. The expression usually meant someone was pregnant, had a one night stand or was having relationship issues she could broadcast to the world...oh god that was all me! Shit, fuck, bugger, bum, poo!
She sat down and placed her hands on the table as though delivering a speech, clearing her throat... I was ready to strangle her for dragging it out.
"You trashed his mum's car!" she said and fell about laughing.
My jaw hit the table as my mind replayed her warning before about him being pussy whipped by his mother. Awww gawd!
"If I were you, I would just dig myself a hole and throw myself in it because when she gets her hands on you, for fucking with her car and her son, well I expect to see your face on the news and her mug shot next to it. Best make sure you have a good profile picture on facebook as that it the one the media outlets always use."
"Stop being so melodramatic. I can handle an old biddy. If she comes near me I'll throw you in the way," I threatened.
"Like a lamb to the slaughter," she said pulling a face. "No offence little baby but I wish your mummy had got preggers by someone else as this will end in carnage. Absolute carnage!"
"I don't want anything from him or her. I was just letting him know so when they baby is older and asks who the biological father is, it doesn't come as a surprise to him when they turn up and call him a wanker for not bothering with them."
"I don't think Dean will be the issue. He is sensible enough and I doubt he would ignore his responsibilities to the child. His mother on the other hand will do everything she can to ensure he isn't paying a penny more than necessary and that the baby is his."
I opened my mouth to protest.
"I know," she said holding her hands up in defence. "You don't sleep around but to her, you are just another one night stand who turns up at his work looking for seconds, hoping he will fall in love with you and live happily ever after."
"I don't want a penny from him... why are you pulling that face?"
"He's here!" she said staring ahead in shock. She hadn't set me up that was clear.
I picked up my bag and headed for the door before he caused a scene or have me arrested for car beating.
"Oh no you don't," he said grabbing my arm and pushing me into the nearest empty booth. Sliding in beside me so there was no escape.
"I don't have anything to say to you," I said trying to shove him out of the way.
"Well that is good, as I have plenty to say to you and can do without interruptions," he said his eyes fixing mine as his broad shoulders blocked out the view of the bar.
"I don't want to hear it," I replied hoping he would move. No such luck.
"Firstly, I never knew you called or whatever else you did as I have a PA who filters all my messages."
"And they thought I was just another of your one nights stands ready to drop her knickers again."
"Well if you want to be blunt about it, yes," he said making me feel like a notch on his bedpost. Ok I was but he was also one on mine so that makes us even. "However, if I had received the message, I may well have returned it as we had fun and I wouldn't have been averse to spending another night together."
YOU ARE READING
DO NOT TOUCH! (COMPLETE)Romance
FINALIST IN WATTPAD 'So You Think You Can Write' Competition 2013 in conjunction with HARLEQUIN. Annie discovers that a one night stand is not as uncomplicated as she thought. Especially when it comes to a 'surprise pregnancy' which she can only ass...