I cant believe this is chapter 18!!!!!! I don't even know where it will lead us too, but I am currently two chapters ahead so that's good.

We have a lot more drama, fighting, and romance to come 😉

This chapter is dedicated to AbbyOverbey for reading and hopefully enjoying my book :) Thanks!!!! XOXO

Anyway....sorry for any mistakes..... :(


I finish putting on my gloves and look back at Elliot, "I need a warm-up first, then we can get down to business."

I don't even see him shake his head by turning around and walking over to the stereo and picked a song that would bring out my emotions and make me rember why I fight and how I am good at it.

The stereo brings me back to the night me and Elliot became friends without him knowing that I'm Blue Night and we instantly became friends and we both had a chance to be happy and dance besides the lives we live.

I clear my head of those thoughts and walk over to the punching bag and got in stance as the music starts.

- Start the music now :) -

I hit the punching bag with a hard punch at first and then another and then another. This is how I let my anger out. I feel the emotion. As I hear the lyrics I start to feel the emotion and it makes my hits harder and more faster.

How come no one heard her when she said...

Maybe I'm better off dead...

I felt the anger pour out of me and I let it all out on my target. This beat up punching bag. Every heart beat is another hard punch to it.

Better off dead..did you hear a word, hear a word I said

This is not where I belong...your gonna miss me when I'm gone.

I felt my knuckles hurting and getting sore as I continued to murder the punching bag. I didn't even notice anybody in here with me. Its just me and this punching bag that I see as my pain and I'll do anything to destroy it and to make it go away.

As the song continues I start to slow down and think about Landon's face and I can hear my heart beating like crazy. I then picture my dad drunk and my tired mom. My aunt in the hospital after being in the car accident. My aunt's grave and then my dad starting to drink because of it.

How come no one heard her when she said... maybe I'm better off dead

If I was would it finally be enough to shut out all those voices in my head.

Maybe I'm better off dead...better off dead.

Another few hard punches filled with anger and haunt of the past and pain.

Your gonna miss me when I'm gone...

As the song continued I gave a few more punches and then  stopped. I was breathing heavy and then just stared at the punching bag and then down at my hands that held my red boxing gloves.

As the song started catching up with speed I went back it. I threw in my kicks that are well known around in street fighting.

I let all my anger out right here in my own little world.

When I and the song finally stopped after a while, I was breathing crazy heavy. I felt beads of sweat on my fore head and I felt hot. My zipped up hoodie felt crowded and I felt claustrophobic.

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