School ended and pain still filled my heart. Carter had not spoken to me since I had said I loved her. I slung my book bag over my right shoulder and walked out of the school when Carter yanked on my book bag; spinning me around. She looked really upset and soon my heart sunk just looking at her. My frown grew larger as I continued to look at her. I was left at a loss of words but knew something was really eating at her. I looked away in pain but couldn't help but look back.
"What's wrong?" I questioned as my eyes made contact with hers. It looked like tears were about to spill from her eyes and create oceans, trapping both of us inside of them.
"I'm sorry but we can't be together again. I just can not do it. The pain and misery that fills us both would not be healed by the other person even if we tried. We would fail miserably together and just bring each other further and further into depression. I'm sorry Scotty, but this is my final goodbye to you." She let one tear fall down her fragile, beautiful face. I followed it as it hit the pavement below us and splashed into oblivion. I thought I could feel my feet caving below me.
"No, please. I love you. Do not go. Why does it have to be this way? Tell me Carter and maybe I'll let you go like you want to. Maybe I'll let you walk out of my life. Realize you'd be smashing my heart into so many small pieces that I wouldn't be able to find them again. No wait, realize you are already smashing my heart into those pieces but that they will always belong to you and always follow you around. I'll never be able to get my heart back from you and I'll never want to. I love you Carter. Please say something." It was my turn to let a tear fall down slowly. After seeing it, Carter started bawling and stepped into my outstretched, open arms, where she belonged.
"There is just too much history between us and too much pain. I'm so sorry Scotty. I'll have to love you from afar. I can not deal with this anymore. It is breaking me apart slowly and yet at a fast pace at the same time. I'll always love you. My heart will always be yours." Her voice was muffled by my sweatshirt in the autumn cold but I clung closer to her. I still heard every word she said echoing in my head. I would not ever let her go. I just couldn't let her go. She was my one and only ray of sunshine. Without her my life would be in complete darkness, not able to be found by anyone.
"So you chose him?" If she chose Adam I would give up on breathing and give up on life immediately. I would not be able to deal with her standing next to such a jerk's side. If she didn't want me she at least deserved better. I did not want her to get less than she deserved though. That meant she shouldn't be with anyone though because there is not a guy good enough for her on this planet.
"No, I don't choose him. He is a jerk. I don't want anything to do with him." She looked up at me as she pulled away only a little bit so we were still in a hug. She was even beautiful when she was crying.
"Then why not me?" I was starting to get a little mad and upset because I just did not understand it. I would give my life for her just to save her and she just wanted to walk away from that.
"I just can't be with you anymore. I'm sorry Scotty. I just can't." She had completely let go of me now. I wanted to hold on but my better judgment said to let her go. My heart said make her stay but my mind said she can walk away if she wants. In this case I let majority win.
"Okay." I muttered it under my breath but she still heard it. After hearing that I was fine with her leaving she turned and walked out of my life. Each step she took felt like she was stepping on my heart. With a broken heart I walked to my car and got in. I sat there and thought about winning her back. With that thought I sped off down the road. I had money in my pocket and a desire for my girl back.
I got into town and to the mall. I walked fast paced into Macy's and started looking around. I had to find the perfect piece of jewelry for Carter. I ended up with a split decision between earrings, a necklace, a ring, and a bracelet. They all were so pretty and I knew Carter would love them. Since I couldn't decide I chose them all. The ring was the most expensive and I planned on giving it to her later on in about a year or so. With a new hope in my heart I left Macy's and sat in my car. I thought for a minute and pulled out my cell phone.