Drowning in Poetry

Love Again

The title I find it be simultaneously very fitting and very misleading. I know exactly what I mean to say in this, and I will not hold back. My only fear is that I will sound crazed to you. Yes, you. The one that I once loved. But please do continue to read, this is in no way supposed to make you feel remorse. In fact this is me thanking you. I would like to say thank you for everything you have done. Not the things you said and did when, "I love you" was something often said between us, but everything that you've done in the year that has passed since then. It'll be a year in just a few days. That's crazy. It may be even crazier that I know that, but that may be a good thing. It would probably take me even longer to be able to say this all to you if I didn't know. I know I'm rambling on, but please just bear with me. For a long while after what happened, I hated you. I hated your guts. And for a while after that, I loved you. And I hated myself for that. And from then until now I was just afraid of you. I was afraid that you would bring up the past and I wouldn't be able to handle it. Most of all, I was afraid that we couldn't still truly be friends. We said "still friends" but deep down things weren't the same, and I wanted them to be. I wanted us to work out as friends so badly. I thought that you thought of me as just your ex and not your friend, but really it was me. I looked at you as my ex. I wanted you to be my friend but I couldn't help seeing you as just someone I used to love. And then that night the picture was taken. You probably know the one. I wasn't looking at the camera. I was looking at you and I was laughing. That was the moment I realized that you truly are my friend. That was the moment I realized I love you. I love you. But it isn't like in the movies or books. It's not, "I still love you." No. It's, "I love you again." I love you. I love you as my friend. And I'm happy that it's this way.