Trigger and Bullets

bullet 11 - in for the kill

Thank you most to those who participated on my survey in the previous bullet.

-sev

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Bullet eleven

The retreat that my secondary school gave us before graduation taught about trust. There were activities—mushy activities—that did aim the meaning of trust. I admit those activities were better than just looking for the core meaning of that word in a dictionary.

Sa retreat noon naranasan ko magpatumba nang kusa at magtiwala na may sasalo. Nakapiring ang aking mga mata noon at hindi ko kilala kung sino ang nasa likuran ko. The two seconds of surrendering to gravity sustain until you feel someone really caught you and didn’t let your butt hit the floor.

Two seconds…

Two unbelievably long seconds…

This dangerous feat I was taking was a million times of that two seconds. Tuluyan na akong nagpadikta kay L at nakapiring na nagpapatumba. One thing, if I see him now I’ll ask him to change his code name. I didn’t like it.

Mabilis kong pinapatakbo ang hiram na sedan patungo sa simbahang pagdarausan ng kasal. The venue was an old stone church on the northern edge of the town. Honestly, I so love that church. The structure was all stone, even the benches. That church was built hundreds of years ago so the ambiance was really ancient. I revved the engine more, ilang minuto na lang mag-uumpisa na. I could be put behind bars for illegal driving and over speeding that’s if the police could compete my speed. Naka-alas nuwebe ang kaliwa kong kamay at nakapatong sa kambyo ang kanan.

Makulimlim ang langit, mukhang nakikiramay kay Isagani.

Obviously, I didn’t have a concrete plan in my pocket. Suicidal na ituturing ang gagawin ko. Heck. I didn’t even have a clue kung ano ang gagawin ko sa kasalan. Pinapapunta ba ako para sumigaw ng ‘itigil ang kasal’—like on those gooey movies? No effin way! But the last note gave me the same feeling I felt when I heard a cry on the equipment room. Kung kailangan itigil ang kasal para maligtas ang isa then I’m in.

Sakto lang ang pagdating ko, nagsisidatingan pa lang ang mga bisita. Mahigpit ang seguridad ng pulisya sa gate ng simbahang bato, hindi maaaring pumasok sa gate ang mga wala sa listahan ng mga pulis. Ilang minutong ni-inspeksyon ang aking sinasakyan bago ako hinayaan. While they were doing those hindi ko mapigilang maghimutok sa isip. Itigil na lang nila dahil walang kwenta ang mga pulis. They didn’t help FDI! After all the free medical services we were giving.

I parked the sedan at the back of the stone church, hinayaan kong nakasuksok ang susi—a ready escape just in case this feat turned out badly. Not far from the car was a police big bike.

Balak ko sana ang hindi magpakita sa mga bisita ngunit hindi ito posible dahil sa rami ng tao. Pagkababa ko pa lang sa sasakyan ilang dosenang mata na ang sumalubong sa akin. I acted like I didn’t give a damn care on their eye bullets that I felt denting on my back. “Venice Fronda is here!” sigaw ng isa, hindi na yata niya napigilan. I was not here to harm the bride, if that’s what they were assuming. I’m here to harm myself. Umiwas sila ng tingin nang tiningnan ko sila.