high school pt. I [ girlmeetssrucas ]

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                                       It seemed like all was well.

One day we were just young middle schoolers, going on with our simple lives, eating, sleeping, doing homework, then waking up and repeating the vigorous routine all over again. Then one day, you're on a subway train, and you fall backwards into the arms of a boy. You look into his eyes, and you suddenly feel this rush of happiness coarse through your veins as his arms wrap around you. He smiles, you smile. Then later on he walks into class, and you find out he's going to the same school as you.

You become good friends with everyone surrounding you, make some enemies, meet other friends. Then one day, suddenly a year later, out of nowhere your best friend falls for the same guy as you. Your heart breaks, they have a moment under the stars by a campfire, and suddenly that summer rain disappears.

You hide your feelings for the sake of her, yet you feel like you're suffocating when you're near him, because when you look into his eyes you still feel the same way you did when you first looked at him on that subway. It's never gone away. You were never confused about how you felt.

You always knew what you felt, even though clearly everyone had their own opinions as to what you should feel, thinking that they know everything about you and trying to make it seem like you were confused with your feelings, when maybe it was them that were confused in the first place. But you never. You never loved him like a brother. You fell in love with him. But now you have to hide it.

You cry yourself to sleep almost every night, as you remember what it felt like when he touched your hand, or clasped his arms around your waist. The memories of him whispering to you that you were his princess, and that you were so important to him. And then you suddenly feel this aching pain in your heart, basically shooting throughout every bone in your entire existing body. But you can't tell anyone. Not even your best friend. Not even the boy you've always loved.

Then one day your feelings get revealed, yet your best friend still has feelings for the same boy you've always loved, and yet nobody acknowledges it, not even her. Like they don't care. It's as if they just brushed it off their shoulders, leaving you in the dust as you suffocate s l o w l y.

It's the end of your middle school lives, and everything comes to a halt. He has to pick, one girl over the other. All your hopes come crashing down, you lose all faith in yourself, you know he's going to pick your best friend. He doesn't. He picks neither, but yet that solves nothing. You're supposed to be friends but you can't, you can't bare it. 

And now you're stuck.

Then suddenly all wasn't well.

And life isn't simple anymore.

And that someday, that you were always talking about, is here. And you're now a high schooler, standing in the hallway, awaiting for the next four years of your life to start.

You have your best friends by your side, but you still feel lonely. Without him.


                                                                                  ••••••


Riley stood outside the door's of Abigail Adam's High School, with her friends by her side, their hearts beating faster than the sounds of the subway train beneath them. 

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