Chapter 13

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I realize that it has been longer than a month since I've updated but life happened. I won't bore you with the details like how I auditioned for advanced theater and got in and...



[Author, you're boring us with you puny life story again...]

Well, excuse me! You guys better start respecting me because I can make you guys lose the love of your life if I FEEL LIKE IT!

{...Do you think she's on the uhhhh the ummm monthly subscription to Lucifer's waterfall?}

[Have you been going on iFunny again?]


[No wonder we are always tired. You stay up until who knows when reading those dumb posts.]

{HEEEYYY. Don't hate on iFunny}

[I can hate whatever I want! Now back to the story!]

Right! Now where were we? Oh yeah!
"I CALL SHOTGUN!" Deadpool yelled as he ran up the stairs to the Blackbird that was parked on the Hotel. He kicked open the door to the rooftop and skipped his way to the gorgeous, black, slim...

{Hehehe, that's what she said.}

[You know, by now I shouldn't be surprised that you said that but you are interrupting the story.]

*sigh* This is why I can't seem to update regularly. Try writing with two dickheads commenting and criticizing everything I do.

Anyway, the story. He ran up the stairs...he skipped and oh yeah.

Deadpool hopped in the passenger seat and buckled his belt (Remember, safety first kids! Unless they're jerk-face, cocksucking, babykiller, Ryan-Reynolds-Hater, assholes like Francis. Then give them hell.) A low chuckle came from the back and Deadpool turned around to find one annoying as fuck jerk-face cocksucking, babykiller, Ryan-Reynolds-Hater, asshole named...

"Francis!" Deadpool murmured as he dramatically tightened his seat belt.

"How do you even know me Mister Pool? We haven't even meet." The low voice chuckled as he slowly walked up to the front of the jet.

"Well, yeah. In this universe we haven't but in the 20th Century Fox film named after moi, we have." Deadpool spat out as he reached for a nearby red button on the control panel of the jet.

{Ohhhhh! A shiny red button!}

[Wait.... We aren't supposed to touch the red button.]

{Pffffttttt. We are also not "supposed" to touch ourselves but we do anyhow...}



Deadpool chuckled to himself at the thought of what the crazy voice had mentioned as he slammed the button. But nothing happened.


"They said you'd go for it," Francis laughed as he grabbed Deadpool's face by the chin and turned it so it was facing him, "That red button you just pressed. It was the detonator for a bunch of bombs that were planted in the Avengers Mansion." Francis chuckled some more as two green men came in with a bunch of unconscious X-Men including Magneto, Mystique, and Quicksilver.

Francis patted Deadpool on the shoulder as he walked towards the smaller of the two green men. The other, however, walked up towards our grief-stricken hero and started wrapping a slimy thing around Deadpool.

"Ewww, is that you're tail. Waaaaiiittt. You're the lizard! And the other guy with the pumpkin he's that goblin guy?!" Deadpool rambled, "Ha! You guys are literally the most cliche Spider-Man villains. Next thing you know they'll add my most cliche villains like Fran- Hey!"

(Play record scratch here)

Deadpool looked towards the huddled girl in the corner who was desperately typing this story on her iPhone. She suddenly stopped to raise her middle finger towards the ungrateful merc. and then continued to write.

Meanwhile, Francis was talking to the Green Goblin.

"We got all of them but the small southern bell, but I mean who cares, she's just a little..." Green Goblin explained before he got cut-off by Francis' hand choking his neck.

"YOU DID WHAT? I told you that Rogue was one of the most powerful mutants and yet you think it is okay to not gas her?" Francis yelled as he started to turn red as a...


...Yeah, sure like a tomato.

As if on cue, Rogue ran onto the jet and ran towards the unconscious Professor X. She then used his powers of telepathy to make the Green Goblin fall to his knees. His hands began to scratching his head as if trying to get something out of it. Seconds after he became unconscious.

Francis had run towards the recovering mutants and had dragged Quicksilver and Professor X to the front of the plane. Rogue chased after but had stopped right next to Deadpool when a gun was fired. Francis smiled as he handed the gun to the Lizard and instructed him to get rid of the others. Rogue's whole outfit began to turn red as she choked out one last thing.


The merc, who had gotten free when the Lizard had left, quickly took off his glove and touched her hand. Francis turned around from driving the jet to find both Rogue and Deadpool ready to fight.

"LETS DO THIS!" Deadpool yelled. Suddenly a green hand yanked Rogue by the arm and threw her out the back of the jet. Deadpool turned to see the Lizard only for a moment until he was knocked out... Again.

"I took care of the other X-Men by doing the same thing I did to Rogue," the Lizard informed Francis. Francis nodded in approval.

"The Green Goblin sure was wise when he proposed to gas the mutants so they won't even be able to put up a fight," Francis smiled as he gave the wheel to the Lizard. He walked towards the beaten-up ball of red and black that was Wade.

"Who's going to save you now? You're lover boy probably thinks you're dead and we are headed to the last place anyone would go to find you. Mr. Wilson, we're going home!" Francis laughed as he kicked the merc, "Soon, we'll finish. We'll finish making you a super-slave!"

And as the jet approached the undisclosed location of the base where Deadpool was first "cured" of cancer, Peter and the Avengers had to deal with the injuries of the Avenger Mansion bombing.
Hope you enjoyed it! I'll be updating
somewhere between tomorrow and next Wednesday

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