Kill & Run ☠ Punk H.S

076 ☠ Part 2

  Anxiety was one of the main emotions I was feeling at that time. I found myself gnawing the inside of my cheek as I sat there, tapping my feet impatiently with my pulse pounding wildly in my temples. I seriously needed to chill, but I couldn't. How could I relax? I couldn't help but keep thinking about the question what if something goes wrong? My stomach was in knots, my mouth formed a rigid grimace as I shut my eyes and leaned my head back.

  But that only made things worse as I started reminiscing all the good memories I had shared with Scarlett, before they started changing into the horrible possibilities of the outcome of this last mission. I let out a groan of frustration, bringing my hands up to drag them down my face, pulling the skin with it before I reached up, ready to tug at my hair. But then I realized it was tied back with the bandana, so my hand just slid down, plopping onto my lap.

  My eyes snapped upwards, noticing how Vicky was watching me the whole time with sympathy. She has been a little bit more bearable after I had saved her life twice during these last two weeks. She was kinder than I had expected, with a good heart. She just happened to maintain a cool detachment to the victims she usually killed, which was key when it comes to being an assassin. Even though I hated it when everyone was being extra nice to me because of what happened, she seemed to be the only one who didn't push too far with it. She was respectable when I didn't want her bothering me, but somehow always there incase I needed someone. That was something I admired.

  I averted my gaze back to the floor, fiddling with my fingers as I let out a shallow breath. Jade noticed my antsy self and suggested that I listen to music on her IPod. My thumb slid down the screen of the device mindlessly, looking for something utterly depressing to play despite Jade's suggestions of listening to some upbeat music like Drake's Hotling Bling. Fucking hated that song.  

  "Jade?" I spoke up quietly, setting aside the earphones and turning to her slightly. She looked up from the novel she was reading.

   "Yes, Harry," she responded.

   "Do you ever think of Blaze?" I asked bluntly, noticing that my question had caught her off-guard. She smiled sadly and nodded.

   "Everyday."

   "Do you miss her?" I asked stupidly, already answering my own question in my head.

   "Of course I do," she chuckled lightly, before pursing her lips and sighing.

   "But how did you move on so fast?" I couldn't help but ask.

   "I dunno, I knew I was going to miss her a lot, but that doesn't mean I can't live without her," she explained, making me frown.

   "But see that's what I don't get. Like, if I were in your position," I started, trying not to think too much about the idea of Scarlett being dead. It physically hurt me. "I don't think I'd be able to live without Scarlett," I sighed, realizing how dependent I was on her.

   "Let me tell you something Harry," Jade murmured, patting my thigh to get my attention. "In a relationship, you need somebody who doesn't want to live without you, but can. Not somebody that is dependent, but somebody who is stronger with you. A relationship is two people, not one. That was something I realized when I lost Blaze," she told me softly, as I listened attentively, registering her words in my brain and nodding slowly.

   "Now I'm not going to say that Scarlett is gonna die and you need to be that person to live without her, but you get what I mean right? You can't depend on her to live in general," Jade gently advised me, even though I wasn't listening to half of what she was saying. I was too busy thinking of Scarlett.