Ten Things

Ch.37-Little By Little

Grace

I wanted to stay in that beautiful hotel with Cole forever. But I knew that was just a fantasy. Because eventually we had to go back, and eventually we both had to face reality again.

Two weeks after we returned, I went through chemotherapy.

It was like I was a young girl again, only this time it was worse. Because they kept putting me through all these treatments, all these procedures, for naught. I could feel it. I couldn't explain how, but I just could.

I would not be surviving this round.

I had an appointment to cut my hair later today. It was supposed to make losing your hair easier when it started falling out. Getting rid of most of it was supposed to make dealing with it better. But it wouldn't. I knew it wouldn't. All it would do was rob me of myself even more.

And the only thing that made it worse was the fact that today was my birthday. Heck of a way to turn eighteen.

My parents had already been in to celebrate with me, giving me a single cupcake with a candle. It was chocolate, and even though I wasn't hungry I ate it in front of them, just to appease them. To let them bask in the hope that maybe everything would turn out okay.

The door opened sometime that late afternoon. I had been dozing in and out, the steady beep of the machine beside me a weirdly lulling rhythm. But when I saw Cole emerge, a bright smile on his face and his backpack over his shoulder, I was instantly awake and sitting up in my bed.

"Hey, baby," he greeted, dropping his backpack to the floor and leaning into give me a quick kiss.

"Hi," I responded, watching him take a seat on the edge of the cot. I scooted over, giving him more room.

"How ya feeling?"

"Alright. Did you come straight from school?"

"Mmhm."

"You didn't have-"

"Yes I did. I heard it was somebody's birthday today."

I beamed. "Yeah. I get to go home tomorrow. Bad timing."

He chuckled, smoothing hair back behind my ear. I was trying not to cry, trying so hard. But it wasn't fair. There had definitely been a reason I had put "fall in love" at the bottom of my list. I hoped it wouldn't happen. Because looking at Cole, I could definitely see wanting to spend forever with him. And I wouldn't be able to. And neither would he. And it wasn't fair.

Cole stooped over, opening his backpack and rifling through it.

"So I got you something," he said, pulling back up with a black box in his hands.

I frowned. "What is it?"

"Open it and see."

I did so, slowly lifting it open, and I gasped. A beautiful diamond necklace rested against sleek velvet, the pendant a heart with Cole's name on it. "Cole . . ." I whispered.

"I know it's cheesy," he muttered, "but I couldn't help myself. I just-you told me you never wanted to be alone, and now when you wear that you'll know I'm always with you."

His face was red and he had averted his eyes. He was so open and exposed to me right now. "Will you help me put it on?"

His eyes met mine. "So you like it?"

"Of course I do," I murmured. I sat forward and brushed my hair out of the way. "Here."

"O-okay." He picked up the necklace and looped it around my neck, clasping the ends together. He paused a moment to brush his knuckle down my shoulder, giving me goosebumps. "It looks good."