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Eighteenth

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I know you still can't understand what I'm saying, or even hear my voice but I want to tell you all these.

I grew up being bullied by those who were bigger than me but I learned how to fight. Don't get me wrong; I fought in the right way. I want you to learn that too for we have no idea what environment you'll be in.

When time comes and you get grown enough for school, I hope you study hard but don't treat it too seriously. There may be opportunity for you to finish so grab them; I haven't given that kind of chance.

I am shy back then but I don't like you to be the same. Your mother is so kind she had lots of friends and I wish you too. If times seem too hard to push through, their shoulders would be just beside you, you have someone to fight with; someone to cry on.

Science is my favourite subject; everything has an explanation. I may not like mathematics, numbers and all, but it's still up to you if you'll be fond of them. I cheated once on a test and I get caught. This is an idea or hint, not a warning.

If you're a boy don't keep your emotions inside. Let her know what you feel but don't rush on things. If you're a girl be patient, don't get trapped by words. Love is a broad subject, but I'm not telling to study its branches.

I remember our prom, I didn't invite your mom but she waited for me. In the middle of the crowd two lonely people met; little did they know that'll be a start. A start of something more complicated, so complicated we became insane but sure we loved the feeling. How I wish you'll have your own love story.

Do not forget to have fun. As they say, you only live once or life is too short. You don't know how you will end so as much as possible; live your life to the fullest. Discover a talent. Find a hobby. Make your life interesting, productive, and everything you like as long it's good and right.

Dream. It'll be your foundation, intangible maybe but it's something than you can hold on. I once had a dream but things change. I end up letting it fall over me I can't even recover until now. I didn't want to discourage you but be strong.

Your mother is the toughest person I know and almost - almost all problems she could pass through them. I do wish you will be the same. Problems don't weaken your spots, they strengthen your will. But I doubted that sometimes, worst things might come first.

Maybe there are so many things I missed but we both know they won't matter anymore. I've said enough but I still haven't said what I must say.

Life has given to you now that you are inside your mother's womb.

But you must not go out.

You shouldn't be discovered.

I admit we had a mistake and this is the only way to mend it.

We aren't prepared.

We loved you but;

I'm sorry.

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It's just a person's point of view guys... but I feel sorry for them. I feel sorry too because it's been a long time since I last updated. But thank you for waiting and reading! Send me your thoughts. ♥

-junellogist