Chapter 46

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Chapter 46

Leah

I finally stopped crying, after crying all day again it was now seven o'clock and I was wrapped up in a blanket eating ben and jerry's watching Wuthering Heights in Granddads front room. They still hadn't come home from the hotel today but after last night's party I'm sure they just decided to take it easy today and come back home tomorrow. Which I was glad about, it gave me time I needed just to cry and drown myself in ice-cream. I heard someone opening and closing the front door of the house from the living room.

"Nan is that you?" I called but there was no answer, that's strange I thought jumping up from the sofa just when I heard someone's heavy feet on the wooden floor. I turned round to face the one person I've been crying about all night.

"Chris?" I whispered so quietly I didn't even really hear a sound. "What..."

"Look don't say anything ok, I've had this speech running in my mind the whole way here and I wanted to get it right..." he said but then paused for a long moment.

"So?"

"I forgot what I was going to say?" I couldn't help but laugh a little at his poor face. He looked so young and nervous.

"I had it all planned out in my head... I was going to come here saying how much I loved you and how much you completed me and you would just say 'you had me at hello' like in Jerry Maguire"

"Life isn't like the movies Chris"

"I know that, life would be so much easier if it was..."

"Chris, why did you come here?"

"I just had to check... I had to know that I did everything in my power, to fight for you" he said stepping closer to me as I took a step back. I had to have a clear head and if he was close I wouldn't have that. I looked up at him, staring into his eyes and hated that I saw pain in them.

"I can understand if you don't believe me, my past hasn't really helped back up my story there but I just need you to understand how much you mean to me, how much I love you. In my thirty years I thought I was living my life the best I could ever imagine it being, I thought this was the life that I was meant to have. I was happy having no strings attaches relationships with women; I was content living my happy bachelor life alone.

I thought everything was perfect... until I met you and I realised that I didn't have a life until then. I'd been living for nearly thirty years not realising that my life was completely empty. When you came in that day and guarded me from my door at work...I felt this strange feeling cover all over me. Like my heart dropped to my throat. I never noticed that the life that I thought was there wasn't, when I first saw you it was like my heart took its first beat that hit me so hard I nearly fell at your feet...

You scared me... you scared me so much because what you made me feel" I could feel the tears fall down my face at his words. I was so torn... I didn't know what to think my head and heart were telling me two different things but because they were both talking at the same time so fast I couldn't understand either of them.

"You have no idea what I felt when you left... I felt empty and I didn't like it... I hate every moment of not having you with me. When you went it was like my heart stopped beating again but this time I thought I was going to die. Looking back now I know that my heart has always been waiting for you because ever since that moment it only ever beats for you Leah.

In the past... when I first met you... I knew you were going to be trouble. I tried to go back to my old life of drinking and meeting women but you... you had changed me without even doing anything, by just being yourself. You made me feel weak and for months and months I couldn't work out why I wasn't happy with my old life anymore. I felt this overwhelming feeling to become a better person, someone you could be with.

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