P

2.6K 106 88

"We are where we're meant to be, 

There's no turning back from here

Running blind into the dark, without a worry in the world ..."

____________

  Your mouth pressed in a hard line, the calm now gone and your brows furrowed once more. "How can I?! It took...months to get you to even speak about Isabel and Farlan, your best friends! You're so – closed off –"

"Why would I lie now?" growled Levi.

"To cover your own ass!" you spat back. "I know Chuck is...slimy and conniving – and I know you were mixed up in some pretty bad gang shit when you were younger –"

"Then why don't you believe me?!" he spat back, subconsciously leaning closer to you.

"How can I believe anything you say?!" You shot up off of the couch, and began to pace in front of him. "You've...lied to me, used me, hurt me in so many ways..! I tend to know when you're lying, but do you honestly expect me to believe this?!"

Levi stood too, marching to stand a few feet from you; you stopped your pacing. "After everything I've said, and with everything you fucking know about me – do you honestly think I'd lie to you now?! You wanna know why I'm fucking here?! – fucking fine, brat! I'm here because I realized tonight the stupid fucking mistake I made! I didn't think it was possible that you'd ever leave me! I thought you loved me – "

"I do! Damn it all, Levi, I do!" you spat, "but do you seriously think I'd ever trust you again?! You really think I'll ever believe a word you tell me! You could get banned from that bar for any damn reason Chuck decides to pull out of his ass –"

"The only thing he was pulling out of his ass tonight was my fucking boot!" Levi shouted. "I didn't get this from fucking fighting any random asshole! – I fucking kicked Chuck's ass! I kicked Lexi in her fucking ugly gap toothed face because of you! I have Mikasa on my ass about what I've done, which I can only guess she knows from you! – do you really need me to fucking spell out what I figured out tonight –?!"

"Wait, whoa – you what?!" you cried, eyebrows shooting up as your eyes grew wide. "You fought Chuck?! Why?!"

"He fucking deserved it, damn it all! I told you what happened! I let him fuck with me and make me believe that cheating was an okay thing to do in a relationship. But guess. Fucking. What, princess! I woke the hell up today! Because you left! – I thought it was some damn prank shitty Mikasa and Eren put you up to! I emptied every. Fucking. Thing I figured you could hide your dumb ass in! I thought you were going to come back, that I would find you cooped up in a closet to freak me the hell out like a kid!

"But your car wasn't in the damn drive way! When I realized that you weren't fucking joking, I thought about all the times you said you hated cheaters. And I realized what a fucking scumbag I was! I've never felt like this so...so...Goddamn, I don't even fucking know!! – But you know what I've never fucking understood about you, you damn brat?!"

By now Levi and you were glaring each other down, challenging each other nose to nose.

"Hard to fucking tell with you, Levi!" you snapped, throwing your arms out to the side.
Levi let out a sound like a snarl, grabbing fists full of your night shirt to pull you even closer to him. "I don't know how some like you ever got in my fucking head! Everything was fine until I met you! And now I'm feel like I'm losing my damn mind!"

"That's what happens when you fall in love, Levi!" you shouted abruptly. "It gets in and toys with your mind. Makes you go insane! But you know what – even someone as...as just – stubborn, and rude and closed off and close-minded as you can find it! Even though you are. So. Damn. Hard. to love! – You don't know how tough it is to love you!"

Levi's eyes widened a hint, though they were still angry. He stood still as a statue, just staring at you now. You found him hard to love? You'd always made seem simple. Like he was just a poor soul who hadn't found his way yet. Maybe that's why he found it easy to love you, because you were so accepting.

Hell, this was the first time you'd ever raised your voice to him.

"[Name]..." Levi uttered, not realizing he had until it'd already touched the air. You broke then, tears releasing like a river gate down your cheeks. This caused a painful stab straight through Levi's cold heart.

"I've tried so hard," you sobbed, pulling your shirt from Levi's grip and taking a few steps back. "I've tried. So. Damn. Hard! And I still ended up being hurt because – because you can't handle yourself?! How fair is that?!"

"Don't you think I tried too?!" grumbled Levi. "I'd wanted nothing more than an actual fucking relationship! And I tried to be a good boyfriend. But I've never been with anyone like this before! How the hell was I supposed to know how to be?! I know it was stupid to go to Chuck! But no amount of guilt or regret is going to fucking change what I did! And us – fucking screaming at each other isn't going to get anything resolved. – I love you, [Name], and I wouldn't blame you if you walked out my damn door forever!"

You stared at Levi, quite unsure how to react, but you watched as he walked to stand in front of you and put his hands on your face once more; you couldn't figure out whether to stay or pull away.
Putting his face close to yours, Levi whispered, "But I'm not losing you without a fight."

With that, he kissed you. Tingles shot through you, making your jaw ache and your stomach twitch. A surge of warmth swept through you like a tidal wave. There was such heat and electricity and urgency in his lips, such sweet familiarity. Like the day you met, it seemed to sear your own skin until you found yourself kissing him back to try and cool it down.

Gently, Levi pulled away.

"I want to make this work," he muttered, rubbing your face with his thumb. "So bad it hurts. I know what I did wasn't fair to you, and I'm not saying that a simple apology will make everything all right and make you trust me again. But I figured a lot of things out tonight, [Name], and I want you to come home...I really don't know what to say to you to make you believe me."

"Levi..." you sighed, watching as agony and guilt swirled around in his eyes. It was so powerful and overwhelming. Your heart ached so badly, all of the push and pull. You wanted to believe him, to go home and try and make everything all right. But your common sense cried out other wise.

"So, [Name] – will you come home?"  

___________

"We are falling faster than we ever have before 

Searching for a purpose in our lives,

while we're reaching out for more..."


Don't Chase Me [Cheater!Levi Ackerman|Mod!Au]Where stories live. Discover now