Begin Again

Chapter 1

You can do this, Leah told herself. Sasabihin mo kay Clark na mahal mo siya. Kung kailangan magmakaawa ka sa kanya, gawin mo.

She paced back and forth in the church, the very same church where she and Clark would have said 'I do' two years ago if their wedding had pushed through.

"Nandito na sina Tita Jack!" Tolayts said.

Leah turned around eagerly, seeing Tita Jack and Clark's entire family walking up the entrance. She searched for Clark, not seeing him until finally, trailing behind the group, he walked up the stairs. Leah's heart started beating faster and her stomach did somersaults. He was wearing a blue blazer over a white shirt and black jeans. He looked as gorgeous as ever and Leah still can't help but marvel at how good the last two years has been on him. She tried to meet his eye but he merely glanced at her and focused his attention on Kuya Tolayts and Manang Tiffany.

"Nandito na ang Ninong!" Tolayts exclaimed. "Yes! Kumpleto na. Tara, umpisa na tayo."

Clark gave Manang Tiffany a beso and kissed Junior's head. Leah stood awkwardly to the side, waiting to be acknowledged. He blessed both Tatang and Nanang while Tita Jack gave her a hug.

"Leah, buti naman nakauwi ka para dito," she said.

"Syempre naman. Hindi ko pwede ma-miss ang binyag ng inaanak ko."

Lola Pachang came up behind Tita Jack. "Ah Lola, mano po."

"Umpisa na tayo!" Tatang said when everyone had made their round of greetings.

Leah had said her hellos to everyone but Clark, who had managed to avoid her. He was talking to Tatang and she tried to make her way to him but at that moment the priest called their attention to start the ceremony.

Leah spent almost the entire ceremony trying to catch Clark's eye but he refused to look at her. Even when they both had to put their hands on Junior's head for the blessing and accept their responsibility as his godparents, he didn't once look at her. Leah knew she deserved this treatment but it didn't make it hurt any less.

When it came time for the photos they were instructed to stand together as Ninong and Ninang.

"Si Clark and Leah naman na solo, ang Ninong at Ninang," Manang Tiffany said, handing her Junior.

Everyone left the altar so that they could have their solo shot and finally Clark looked at her. Leah smiled hopefully up at him, balancing a wiggling baby in her arms.

"Where's Simon?" Clark asked. "Isn't he coming?"

"Bakit naman siya sasama dito?" Leah frowned.

"Clark!" Tita Jack called from behind the photographer. "Akbayan mo naman si Leah! Sige na, para maganda ang shot!"

"Oo!" Tatang piped up. "Lumapit naman kayo sa isa't isa. Ano ba yan, ang laki laki ng pagitan."

Leah blushed as Clark moved closer and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Junior was getting restless and she could barely keep him still in her arms.

"Here, give him to me," Clark said. "Before he spits up on your dress or something."

He took the baby from her and made funny faces at him. Junior smiled and calmed down and they were able to take a few more pictures. Leah watched Clark hold the baby in his arms, he was a natural and god...he looked so good.

It felt like a vise squeezing her chest as she imagined that it was their baby Clark was holding. It might have been. If they had gotten married two years ago they might have had a baby by now.