Damaged Together

Chapter Thirty One

Once we close the hotel door behind us I am practically throw up against the wall, trapped between it and the beautiful boy before me.

“You look so damn gorgeous.”

Jesse’s lips find mine and I am lost.

Lost within the feeling he gives me.

The tingles that are shot through my entire body.

His mouth moves against mine with desperation as his hands explore my body.

He moves to my jaw bone, never once straying from my skin.

He then dips to my neck and I lift my head so he has better access. I am so flustered with my need, my want, that I barely know what to do.

I fumble with his belt, desperately wanting to be intimate him like no other person. He ends up doing the job for me and takes off his jeans completely.

His eyes are dark with lust as he pulls at my waist bringing me to the bed behind us.

I pull his shirt off of him before we began kissing again.

I pull my dress over my head with his help. His eyes widen at the sight of my new bra which accentuates everything I already have. His gaze reluctantly travels back up to my eyes.

He continues to explore my body with his soft lips, traveling from my neck to my cleavage and then he starts at my shoulder, going down my arm.

I take in a shallow breath once he reaches the crook of my elbow. Fucking scars. Before I can stop him he pulls his mouth away from my arm, leaving me with a cold feeling inside.

His eyes widen, not in a good way this time.

He has seen them.

I look away, afraid to meet his glance. “Alyssia, are these what I think they are?” his voice shakes slightly.

I will myself to turn and face him. An emotion I can’t read engraved into his flawless face.

I feel the tears in the corners of my eyes forming.

He hates me.

I know it. And before he can say another word I am grabbing my dress and slipping it on as quickly as possible and running out of the room.

He doesn’t come after me.

I break and cry endlessly. The best thing I’ve ever had was just torn from me.

But I guess it is my fault anyways.

I realize that my feet are sinking into something with each step I take and I look around for the first time since I began running. I am at the beach. I continue to run, not caring where I end up.

I run and I run and I run until I can barely breathe. I fall to the ground.

I pull my knees to my chest as my head falls into my hands.

I feel myself breaking inside. Every ounce of me is hurting. And the tears won’t stop falling.

It’s a pain I have never felt before and never wish on anyone.

Disappointment, hate, betrayal. Every negative emotion I was afraid of him having is exactly what he is feeling.

I feel every ounce of my being slipping away. There is no point to anything anymore.

“I don’t give a fuck about them.” An out of breath voice states from behind me.

My heart stops and I turn to confirm who I believe it is.

Jesse is standing there with only his jeans on, hands on his knees, regaining his breath.

I attempt to say something but my mouth just falls open and I am unable to speak.

So he continues, “I fucking love you damnit. Do you really think that seeing those would change that? I fucking love you. Jesus.” He appears to be at a loss for words.

My mouth opens and words tumble out before I can stop them, “Do you know what they are? I took a fucking blade to my wrist and I pulled it across. And part of me liked it.” My voice is getting louder and louder and I can’t control it, “I liked to hurt myself because until I met you it was the only thing that kept me feeling something. How the fuck could you love someone who is so fucked up in the head? Exactly you can’t. It’s okay Jess. I get it. Because sometimes I can barely live with myself, I don’t expect you to be able to.”

My breathing is heavy and I notice that I am on my feet.

After a moments pause he begins to speak, “Are you done?”

I don’t respond.

“Did you not hear me before, I fucking love you. Nothing is going to change that.” His voice is raised louder than mine was but it’s almost comforting, “You are the love of my life. I fucking hurt when you aren’t around. When I see a smile on your face, one spreads to mine. When you are sad all I want to do is hurt the person that made you that way. And to know that you did this to yourself makes me so fucking angry.” My heart sinks. “But not at you. At the whole fucking world. Because nobody was there for you. I wasn’t there for you. You were obviously hurting and nobody did shit about it.”

He steps forward and grabs my wrist, lifts my sleeves and pulls them towards him, “But these, they are apart of you. And there is nothing I want to change about you. I love you so goddamn much that it hurts. I have never felt this way in my entire life and I am scared. But you are the most important thing to me. I can’t imagine life without you. I would never in a million fucking years let you go.” A tear slips out of his eye.

He pulls my feet out from under me and sets me down on my back on the soft sand.

He sits down behind my head and sets it in his lap.

He plays with my hair as the waves crash in front of us.

I reach my hand up and caress his face.

A weight has been lifted off of my chest and I let out a breath of relief.

He cups my hand in his and kisses my palm. He gently traces his fingertips down my arms.

He brings his lips to my wrist as he runs his fingers over the slightly raised white lines.

He kisses my wrist where you can feel my pulse and I get up and straddle his lap before he continues.

He leaves tender kisses all the way from my elbow to my palm, sometimes stopping and muttering quiet little things in my ear.

I get this beautiful and peaceful feeling inside of me that I have never had in my entire life.

 “I love everything about your beautiful body, your beautiful personality and your beautiful soul.” He wraps me up into a tiny little ball and continues to trace every single curve on my body. They only word coming out of his mouth being, “Beautiful.”

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I am so excited for y'alls reactions so comment.

I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter I know a lot of you were looking forward to it.

I am sorry it took me so long to post this and chapter 30, I didn't go to school for 3 days last week and I have SO much homework.

And I am once again in the process of changing schools.

So I have a lot going on.

But hopefully this leaves you guys satisfied.

I am debating on changing the cast for this story but I am not sure...

Tell me what you guys think.

Love you guys, please vote!!

Emily(: