// based on bts' song "FIRE"
//warning: angst ahead
When I wake up in my room I have nothing
jungkook blames it on may 2nd. he blames it on the day that he lost control. he blames it on his ego. he blames it on everything, the weather, the car, the driver, everything. it's just not the same, the empty white bedsheets crumping under his feet, no traces of indents on the bed, no sound of the soft snores beside him, no warmth that used to keep him in bed even when it's cold. there's nothing in his room and possibly nothing inside his heart.
Once the sun goes down, I stumble
So completely drunk, drunk
he chugs down his fifth, maybe sixth- he doesn't keep count, of his alcohol. nothing can keep his mind off that day, not even his busy job, sweet words of comfort from his family. nothing can, except for the liquid driving through his throat, delivering him warmth inside his stomach. it reminds him of what he used to feel, or what he can feel.
Cursing around on the street, street
I'm out of my mind, like an insane person
It's all a mess
he stumbles on his own feet, landing on his knees, his ankles twisting under the force. the bottle in his hand now gone, rolling over to a nearby drain and jungkook keeps his fingers on the dirty road, elbows scratching over its hard surface and he holds back a sob.
"fuck, fuck, fuck." he mutters, repeating it like a mantra, fingers grasping over nothing in the road.
"get off the street, fucker," he heard a man said from an open window from his car. he doesn't bother to look at him since the car is now gone right around the corner. he hisses when he tries to stand up and his ankles giving up from below him. he grits his teeth, suddenly so angry at everything. he kicks the orange cone beside the street, seeing it tumble down the road, cars passing by and honking at him. he shouldn't have went down this street because this is exactly where he lost his only source of happiness.
Hey, burn it up
Like you want to burn it all
he drags his legs on the way home, shuts the heavy metal door behind him. his eyes hover to his bed, his lonely, lonely, empty bed and he laughs. he laughs with all the voice he have left, shoulders shaking from the impact. it's funny how he arrives at this decision. it hasn't even been one week but at the same time it's already been one week.
he lights up his companion, his cigarette, flinging it over to his bed. he feels a tiny bit of relief, seeing how he doesn't need to pay this month's rent anymore.
It's okay to just live We're still young
taehyung said it once, "keep living your life." but how can he live when taehyung is his life?
as smokes starts to tickle his nose, leading to a massive haul of coughs, he lets it consume him. a smile on his face coming to sight, because finally, finally, he can be with taehyung once again.
a/n: wow i wrote this in 5 mins im so in rush before the idea runs out;; YES I JUST TURNED A HYPE SONG INTO AN ANGST SONG IM SORRY have a nice day everyone
why do i keep writing angst holy shit