Naked City

Trigger Warning

I really believe that you can tell all about someone from the way they drive. Actually, I think I know everything I need to know by simply seeing a person operate a vehicle. You have those people who drive safely because they are conscious of the fact that there are rules of the road. Then are the people who are too timid to change lanes for fear that anything than bigger than a jeep is going to bear down on them. Then you have the cavalier motherfuckers who give no fucks about you on the road.

Its those cavalier people that I really cannot stand. They're the ones that will zig zag on the Saw Mill Parkway just to avoid any kind of traffic as if there are more than two lanes. They are the fuckers who will ride your ass no matter if you're in the fast lane or slow lane just so you can get out of the way. I really hate those people.

Sometimes, just for giggles I will slow down and pin them between lanes especially if abuela in the green caddy next to me is going 15 miles an hour on Fort Washington. Then you see how fast motherfuckers want to get by you by swerving into oncoming traffic.

So there is no wonder that I'm fuming right now that this asshole just took my parking spot. You know how long it takes to find parking in Washington Heights? Granted I had to go to Nyack today for a cookout. I wanted to get back in time to find parking but it's a Saturday and no one is trying to move. I found a spot right across the street from my building and as I'm about to make a U turn, this prick come from behind and makes a fast U-turn into my spot as I'm about to pull into it.

He's fucking dead wrong and he knows it. I call him an asshole and he shrugs it off and smiles. I watch him as he gets out the car and closes the front door. I feel all this anger boiling over. It has been a bad fucking week. I've had to handle a bunch of babies at work that cannot take the fact I'm younger than them and giving them orders. My girlfriend, Monica, texted me last night that we have to talk and I already know what that means. My student loans are about to kick back in big time because all my forbearances are used up. I'm so fucked and right now, it would've been nice if I had just this one thing go right for me.

It takes me another 45 minutes to find parking. I got lucky by finding a spot along Broadway and Dongan Place. Normally I have a strategy for all this. Sometimes I will just circle a 10 block radius to see if anyone is leaving. They have to eventually, it's a Saturday night. People will leave to go wherever they go or I have to simply wait at a fire hydrant for someone who doesn't live in the neighborhood to leave and go back home. Which eventually does happen as some white lady and her black boyfriend pulls out of spot that I immediately take.

I turn off the car and just stare at my phone. Monica apparently doesn't believe it has taken me over an hour to find parking. I forget that she doesn't live around here. She is perfectly fine in her Syracuse apartment where all it does there is fucking snow. This is what I get for having a long distance relationship. She never trusts me and I can't stand it. I'm almost thirty years old and I think I deserve the benefit of the doubt. Monica thinks I have a crush on one of her chapter sisters, Yesenia, which is absurd.