chapter 23

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Perrie's p.o.v

I stood at my house door taking a deep breath as I regretted opening the door. How long was it going to take for my dad to find out about us?  I thought silently to myself clutching the doorknob tightly.

I loved Jade with all my heart but this wasnt going to stay a secret. There's going to be a lot of questioning when people ask about the lovebites and lipstick marks.

There's going to be times when I come home wearing Jade's jacket or shirt when i missed her. There's going to be times when she came over and I couldn't help but kiss her.

My stomach churned at the thought of my dad actually figuring out. What would he do to us. Especially Jade.  I just shook off the ideas and walked in the house trying to avoid eye contact with everyone.

"Well hello to you too" A smirk making its way to his lips as he spat out sarcasm. I rolled my eyes attempting to walk up to my room when someone grabbed my arm spinning me around to face them. "Look at me when I'm speaking to you" My dad said anger rippling through his voice.

I didn't even flinch not bothered as he yelled at me. I was so used to it by now it was casual. "Why so could look me in the eye and tell me how much you hate me?" My voice hollow all the energy drained out of me.

I was so tired of all the yelling and screaming and bruising going on in this family. My dad's eyes scanned my face searching for something anything.

"What?" I snapped aggrivated now. He can't keep fucking with everything here. How were Jade and I supposed to see eachother when we basically had people breathing down our necks all the time?

My dad's eyes twisted into a dark smile. "I like that shade of lipstick on your face didnt you know it goes on your lips and not all over your body?" I froze. Shit. I forgot to wipe off Jade's lipstick stains off my face from where she kissed me when i drove her home today.

"Who were you with?" He asked calmly. Shocking me a bit. He was never this relaxed and calm. Why was he having bipolar mood swings? He tightened his grip around my wrist making me wince abit. It was like he was tightening a chord around my wirst. Making it feel like the blood seemed to stop flowing from my arm to my hand.

"I asked who were you with?!?" His voice booming through the silent house. This was how my childhood was spent. Yelling being terrified of every little move he made little did he know he was slowly creating a monster out of his daughter making her life crumple down slowly and painfully. She relflected him in someways. And she was me.

I couldn't make it seem like I was frightened not anymore. "Who were you with?" He shouted one last time. "With Zayn if you even bothered to care about my life anymore dad. If that's what I'm supposed to call you when all you really did was make me die each and everyday with the beatings and the yelling and the constant arguments. How do you look in the mirror and still live with yourself?" I let all the anger burst out of me that I've kept in for so long even though it was irrelevant to the current situation.

His face seemed to momentarily sadden before he opened his mouth the smell of cheap alchohal filling the room as he talked again making me cringe. Of course he was drunk. I thought. Nothing has changed about him at all. I just noticed how he slurred his words as he spoke. "Y...your lying" he said another puff of alchohal breath hitting my face. I looked into the depths of his soul my eyes so cold you wouldnt believe this was me.

"How would you know you stopped taking care of us long ago." I yanked my arm back going up the stairs of my room slamming the door shut and falling ontop my bed checking my phone.

jadey

you get home alright love?

I instantly smiled feeling my heart warm slightly before I texted back a quick yes and dropped my head onto my pillow just wanting to lie down and sleep for the rest of the day

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The next day

"You alright love?" Jade asked grabbing my hand and kissing it lightly as we walked out of school and into the ice cream parlor.

My mind just seemed to be somewhere else all the time. I was either thinking of Leigh-Anne coming out of nowhere and exposing us or my dad seeing us together and practically killing us.

"Yeah" I replied with a weak smile. I  was so out of it. I kissed her cheek before going to go get out order. I really just wasnt in the mood to do anything lately. I sat back on the table grabbing Jade's hand from under the table as she looked at me curiously.

"Perrie what's wrong?" She asked genuinly concerned. I stared mindlesly stiring my soft served chocolate chip mint ice cream with

my spoon. "Nothing"'I shrugged. I didn't want to go over this right now. She tightened her grip on my hand making me face her.

"I know you by now Perrie what's wrong?" Her voice soft and calming. No matter who I was with I knew I could only truley trust Jade. I sighed before burying my face in my hands. "It's just everything is wrong. My dad is getting drunk again and it's like my childhood is coming back again. Everything is going dark and demented again. "

I didn't dare tell Jade about Leigh-Anne's video of us. She would flip out. Jade ran her thumb along the back of my hand trying to calm me down "Sounds like someone needs a movie night." She smiled brightly. and I rose the side of my mouth slightly too. She was too adorable to say no to. "I'd love that" I laughed pulling her in for a tight hug not wanting to let her go. Becaue I thought that if she did she would leave me. No one's stuck with me this long. They all judged me one way or another (a/n ;)   ). "Your too good for me Jade" i mumbled into her hair before pulling away seeing how she smiled widley lighting up her whole face.

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i know dont laugh crappy chapter sorry i didnt upload sooner i had a buch of homework and in begining to get writrs block so :/ but next chapter will be up hopefully in an hour or so. so thank you to everyone for reading and following voting and commenting your all freakin perfect and special shout out to vickeydiehard and one of my newest followers (sorry i forgot your name :-$) for reading this in such little time

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